Chapter ONE "Under the Cover of Darkness"

(sequel to "Under the Purple Moon")

            Nolan Reynolds sat placidly in deep contemplation, with almost a wistful expression on his face, as he watched his beautiful wife, Tess Simóne, a renowned romance novelist and the love of his life, play with their sixteen-month old son, Tristen, under the warm California sun. He still couldn’t believe sometimes that this was his life now. He loved Tess more than he thought he could love any woman. She was beautiful, smart, sexy, and had a way of making him feel more confident than he’d ever felt in his life. They shared everything and had no secrets from each other—at least Nolan thought so—not anymore, anyway.

In the beginning of their relationship, that type of commitment felt foreign to him on some levels and difficult to accurately comprehend such intense feelings for Tess. He never needed anyone so personally and intimately before. But all he knew, since their wedding day, was that his life had just been made. Everything fell into place after that. She was truly the only woman for him. The birth of their son became the icing on the cake. He couldn’t ask for more or be happier with life’s gift to him. But those fond thoughts of his wife were never far from the memory of the terror that shook them to the core less than two years ago, no matter how hard he tried to suppress it and move on.

As Tess continued to help Tristen tackle the sand beneath his feet, Nolan let out a burst of laughter when his son squealed at feeling the warm, gritty matter between his toes for the first time as they frolicked on the beach. As the salty sea air wafted under Nolan’s nose, he was reminded of that precise moment three years ago, and a few weeks, when he met Tess for the first time on a beach in Northern California. She appeared like a vision to him when he found her sitting on a blanket with the sun rays beaming down on her while she worked on her laptop that fateful day. He became more intrigued with her, beyond her unpretentious beauty, when he learned she was a famous novelist. They wrote their own love story after that, although it wasn’t without plenty of drama and horrific moments. They were even separated for almost a year before reuniting, falling in love all over again, which forced Tess to acknowledge her deepest and darkest secret—Grant Sterling. 

Nolan’s smile faded considerably when he flashed back of those daunting times. He wanted nothing more than to forget about Tess’ peculiar secret, but as much as he wished she could too, he knew that wasn’t possible. The pregnancy and then the birth of Tristen kept her busy—she had her hands full and her mind preoccupied most of the time.  However, he made a conscious effort to not leave her alone at night, if at all possible, and never allowed her to go back to her haunted Napa house without him. If he had to leave on business overnight, he insisted that she stay with her best friend, Lisa James-Kent and her husband, Gregory Kent, in Marin County. But since the baby arrived, he hasn’t left Tess for any reason. He didn’t want to leave anything to chance.

“Did you see how much he loved the sand?” Tess asked in amazement as she sat down next to Nolan, holding Tristen protectively in her arms.

“He’s terrific and funny! I knew he would love the beach.” He gave his son a raspberry smooch on his belly. Tristen giggled when he patted Nolan’s face, then he jammed his fingers in Nolan’s mouth. Nolan pretended to bite his little fingers, which caused Tristen to giggle more. “I love you, little man.” 

Tristen screamed, “Daddy!” His enthusiastic expression made Tess laugh as well.

“I love you, too, Tess.” Nolan looked particularly serious when he said it.

“And, I love you more,” she replied. He leaned over and kissed her softly at first, but then put his hands on her arms to hold her steady and kissed her with more purpose. “Mmm…what’s that for?”

“I’m so crazy about you, that’s all.” He turned away and looked out toward the ocean. “Tess, have you thought about having another baby?” he asked staring toward the horizon.

“Where did that come from?”

“Just wondering. I want you to be happy.” He focused on her dark brown eyes.

“I am happy. You make me stupendously happy, and Tristen is the joy of my life. What more do I need? Do you want another baby? I mean I’m surprised that you brought it up, and so soon.”

“I haven’t really thought about it until now. I dunno. I’m okay with whatever you want. I need you to know that.”

“I do know that, Nolan. You’ve given me so much already and I’m grateful for that. But, I’m okay with being an attentive mother to our one and only, perfect son. I don’t want to get in over my head and not have enough time to give to you both, and our marriage. I think this is enough, for now.” She kissed her husband back with love in her heart for being so considerate and noble to her. She also thought of her work. Her writing meant everything to her, until Nolan and Tristen, but now she barely has time to write—being a fulltime mother and wife. The stolen moments here and there, or in the middle of the night when everyone else slept, were never enough time to feel as productive as she once had.

“It looks like the ocean air has taken another victim.” Nolan noticed Tristen nodding off in Tess’ arms.

“Are we ready to go or do you want to let him nap out here?” Tess cuddled her son closer to her body.

“Let’s head back. I have some paperwork waiting at home for me anyway.”

Tess knew Nolan revised his work schedule to stick closer to home and perhaps to keep an eye on her. He used to travel a lot on business when she met him, but now, suspiciously, those travel assignments seemed to have diminished. When she asked him about it months ago, he excused it away as not having the need to travel much anymore—that his projects didn’t warrant it. She took his word for it, but in the back of her mind, she wondered if he didn’t stretch the truth a bit. She knew she put him through hell with her special circumstances out at her house in Napa Valley, but she became weighted with guilt when she thought that he might be staying close to home on her account. She knew how much he loved his career and how indispensable he was to the company—the most prestigious architectural firm in San Francisco, which meant he had to travel a great deal for them and, in return, they rewarded him handsomely for it. 

Tess didn’t realize she had a scowl across her forehead as they drove back to their upscale San Mateo County home with a million-dollar view. She seemed in serious contemplation as she stared out the window, being particularly quiet and yet staring at nothing in particular. Nolan watched her from time to time trying to figure out what might be going through her mind. He stared at her attractiveness: her natural golden bronze skin color, which set off her firm, shapely legs and toned arms, especially her biceps, which showed more definition since Tristen was born. Her aesthetic aura still took his breath away whenever she walked into a room unexpectedly. She maintained her petite figure, which she was thankful for after giving birth. He loved to scoop her up into his arms and carry her to their enormous bed. Being romantic with her came natural to him, which surprised him, even today, since he wasn’t that way before they met. The only true love in his life before Tess was his Corvette—his favorite, the Z06. Then Tess became his number one love, along with his son. Nothing or no one was more important to him.

“Whatcha thinking?” He gently touched her hand.

“Hmm? What? Uh, nothing.”

“You want to try again? What were you thinking?” Tess smiled at his attempt to get her to open up. She figured her serious countenance must have given her away. She also didn’t realize how deep in thought she actually was.

“You’re being paranoid. I wasn’t really thinking anything. Just looking out at the water.”

“Tess, we haven’t been driving near the coast for ten minutes now.” He smiled at her. She looked out the window again and noticed the urban scenery and smirked.

“Nolan, relax. I’m not thinking anything in particular. What do you want to do for dinner?”

“Nice try. Fine, if you don’t want to tell me, don’t. You kinda looked serious and I was curious. But I can take a hint.”  He backed off with his inquisition, but not from his curiosity.

Tess smiled at him, kissed his hand, and then squeezed it, letting him know she appreciated his concern. She replaced his hand back on her leg. She had a gem of a husband and she knew it. No one treated her with kid gloves the way he did—not even her adopted parents, who were absolutely wonderful to her. She glanced back over her shoulder to check on Tristen and smiled seeing him sound asleep and looking extremely peaceful. She couldn’t help wonder what she did to deserve such a perfect baby and doting husband.

For the remainder of the ride home, Tess tried to keep her head clear of serious clutter to enjoy the scenery, while making sporadic small talk with Nolan. She wanted to call her best friend, Lisa, when she got home, provided Tristen would allow her the quiet time to do so. She also hoped to get in some writing after Tristen and Nolan retired for the evening. She chuckled to herself at the thought of actually getting some time alone to write. Since having the baby, Tess found that her optimum writing hours were quickly replaced with baby time. And when Tristen napped, Tess usually napped with him since she did most of her writing now in the middle of the night when everyone else slept and the house was quiet. Nolan objected to her staying awake all night to write, but once he fell asleep, she tiptoed out of the room and he wouldn’t know. But several times he discovered her writing in her office when he didn’t feel her warm body next to him in bed. Her absence made him panic, thinking something was wrong. Since Tristen was born, they both became light sleepers, so if she wanted to work during the night, she had to limit herself to about three to four hours in order to keep him from worrying about her. Sometimes his overly protective nature made her forget that he was nine years her junior. 

When she turned forty in the spring, it was the only time since they’ve been married that she was reminded of their age difference. Tess had a young spirit and zest for life, therefore, her age had never been an issue for her. She struggled with the age difference for a short while when she met Nolan, but once he proved to her how much he wanted her in his life, and loved her unconditionally, she no longer thought of that being a deterrent. Nor the fact that she was biracial—her biological mother White and her biological father Black—and he was White. Nolan never saw her race as an obstacle from the instant he laid eyes on her. He only saw a beautiful, special woman with great legs and alluring eyes that danced when she laughed. He knew the second he spotted her that he had to have her in his life—permanently. Actually, he was surprised by her age, because she didn’t look it. She could easily pass as ten years younger. And her friends, Lisa and Gregory, didn’t know any two people more perfectly matched for each other than Tess and Nolan. Their relationship blossomed, based on respect, patience, and an abundance of love. And, soon that love overflowed to their son.

Before dinner, Tristen didn’t give his mother the down time she thought she could get, but she certainly didn’t complain. Her son took priority over everything, including her writing and Tess wouldn’t dream of denying him a moment of her attention. She initially felt some trepidation when she first learned of her pregnancy, but after giving birth to Tristen, all worries went out the window and her instincts kicked in.  She embraced motherhood and accepted the challenges with joy. The most endearing moment for her during the delivery came knowing that Nolan shared the same enthusiasm and anticipation as she did for the birth of their first child. She even got over the idea of having a natural birth. Lisa, being a nurse, eased her mind about having an epidural for the pain, but Tess wanted to try it naturally. She prepared for weeks prior to the birth and wanted to call upon her bravery to get her through the delivery. She almost gave in at one difficult point, but Nolan’s presence and attentive nature kept her focused and committed to labor through the pain. He thought she displayed incredible bravery, and praised her continuously while he worked diligently at keeping her comfortable. When it was all said and done, she knew in her heart that she couldn’t have done it as easily if it weren’t for her supportive husband. They were both exhausted after the ten-hour event, but never more excited and proud—of each other. Tristen was born with a head full of sandy brown hair, lighter than his mother’s dark curls, and barely darker than Nolan’s blonde hair. His eyes eventually took on a hazel shade of green, and he had his father’s dimples and smile. He was a gorgeous baby. After all, his mother possessed beautiful, delicate features and his father was a cross between sexy actor, Jason Lewis and singer, Jon Bon Jovi, as Tess remarked from time to time teasing him. Nolan’s slightly wavy hair fell right above his shoulders and he wore it at one length. As Tristen got older, Tess thought he favored Nolan more than her, which made her smile. 

She also felt blessed to have a happy baby. Tristen gave them no problems and was turning into an easy-going toddler. As an infant, he typically cried when he needed to eat or be changed. Other than that, he rarely fussed, except when he teethed or got sick. He certainly inherited his parents’ calm demeanor. Only once did she reflect back on her childhood and wondered if Tristen would encounter some of the same challenges and prejudices as she endured because of her multi-cultural background. But as she looked at her son, his skin was fairer than hers and his coloring, lighter. She’d always teased that he was his father’s child without a doubt and that she basically contributed none of her genes. That wasn’t true, of course. Tristen inherited the distinct combination of both his parents’ genes, and Tess especially instilled love and a sense of family in him from his first day on earth. She didn’t have that in her developmental years; not until she was adopted at age six. She didn’t want her son to ever feel rejected or unloved.

Nolan never let on to Tess how nervous he had been, up to the moment Tristen emerged from her womb. He certainly never forgot about the night his son was conceived—hearing Tess being seduced by Grant only moments after they, themselves, were together intimately, and for the first time. He hadn’t felt more devastated and betrayed in his life. He thought he would die right there. Ever since the announcement of Tess’ pregnancy, Nolan couldn’t ward off the suspicious feelings about what happened between her and Grant, even though she tried to convince him that only he could be her baby’s father. He had no previous experience with any of that “freaky shit,” as he called it, but he tried with everything he had in him to trust her and believe everything she told him. However, he still struggled in the back of his mind about her safety and freedom from Grant. But he’s not convinced enough to leave her alone at night, even though they were nowhere near her Napa home. He wanted her to sell the house, like she originally planned; instead she kept it as a vacation rental. There was something about her home, it meant something special to her from the moment she found it and she couldn’t bring herself to part with it. He continued to persuade her to get rid of it, but he also knew how much she loved her home, and she promised him she would never go out there alone. He saw to that by never leaving her alone overnight—not even for his job.

After dinner, Nolan helped bathe Tristen and get him ready for bed. He enjoyed being part of Tristen’s daily care and development. He wouldn’t give up the craziness and occasional sleepless nights for anything. Like Tess, his son meant more to him than he ever imagined. Every time he looked seriously at their precious miracle and realized he was responsible, he got choked up. He wanted nothing but the best for his son and he and Tess were the parents who could give him everything—especially protection.

Upon finishing their work for the evening and getting Tristen settled in his bed, they finally collapsed into their own bed. Nolan gently nestled Tess’ body into his body. She sighed from exhaustion and, while facing away from him, whispered, “I love you.” He kissed the back of her head, brushing her soft curls away from her neck. He nuzzled his face against the nape of her head and began nibbling behind her ear. She moaned softly, but was quickly succumbing to her exhaustion. Nolan thought he would pass out the second his head hit the pillow, but being so close to Tess’ body could always revive his sexual drive for her. “Baby, I thought you were tired,” she whispered with her eyes closed.

“Not that tired. You turn me on, girl. Five minutes this time, I promise.”

“You said that last time, and an hour later…”

“Can I help it if we have such undeniable chemistry?” He turned her over on her back. She kept her eyes closed and pretended to be asleep. “Pleeeease…you know you want it, too.” A sheepish smile swept across her face. He kissed her lips and she wrapped her arms around him. They both began to squirm under the sheets, as he raised himself level to her.

“You win. And, you’re right; you’re irresistible, and I love you.”

“I love you more, babe.” Their lips met and they made love for the next thirty minutes before rolling over, winded and spent.

“Sweet dreams, babe,” said Nolan through a yawn. Tess only groaned. As she fell asleep, she knew his plan was to tire her out completely so she would sleep through the night and not get up to write. He didn’t like it when she left their bed—it made him nervous. And, she didn’t let on that she knew what he was doing by his tactics. She couldn’t complain, though, because she loved the way he made love to her and sleeping next to him felt heavenly.

Nolan drifted off thinking about the last thirty explosive minutes and every single time they made love in the past. Each time was special to him because he felt grateful to have her that way, especially. He couldn’t forget when she was unable to make love to him because Grant nearly destroyed her emotionally and physically. So, he cherished every time he touched her body and felt the magical charge between them like the Fourth of July.

Chapter ONE "You Danced On My Dreams!"

Tyana Dominique sat impatiently in her car, giving an irritating glance at her watch, as she waited for Antonio to meet her.  Her mind quieted as the morning heat relaxed her body.  She drifted off into a deep sleep, and within moments her mind had invited a sequence of disturbing images, one being Charlotte who abruptly pierced her dreams.  She stood over Tyana taunting her and laughing at her.  Tyana froze when she saw a shiny, but blurred object pointed at her. 

Tyana flinched awake instantly when she heard the blare of a car horn across the street.  She glanced around to get her bearings, shook off the weird dream and searched for her phone.  She hesitated at first, looking around one more time in hopes that Antonio would show up before making the call.  When she didn’t see him, she reluctantly dialed.

“Hello…”  Antonio answered his cell phone in a hurried manner.

“Antonio—”

“I’m on my way!”

“But, I’ve been waiting.  You were supposed meet me here twenty minutes ago!  What’s detaining you?”

“I’m leaving right now.  I’m sorry.  A situation came up that needed resolving.”

“Not again!  This is our wedding we’re planning.  We’ve been planning it for four years.  We’re late meeting the wedding planner—again!  It’s always been something with you and the business for the last four years that’s kept us from moving forward with our plans to get married.”

“You make it sound like I’m avoiding our wedding plans, which isn’t true.  I’m sorry I’m running late.  I was unavoidably detained; but I’m on my way.  I’ll be right there.”

“As usual, you let your work get in the way.  We should be married by now.  Why is this so hard?  I sold my business and went into business with you right after we got engaged.  I know things got a little crazy with all the personal adjustments and legal ramifications with our businesses and this partnership with the dance studio, but I didn’t expect that it would mean our wedding plans would be put on hold this long.”

“Where’s all this coming from?  I love you, I love you…I love you.  We’re getting married, I promise.”  He glanced at his watch.  “Look, I’ll be there in ten minutes.”  That is, if he ran every traffic light along the way.

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Do what?  Do that!  Avoid the issue.  By the way, what was so important that kept you from being on time this time?”

Antonio let out a long sigh, knowing that whatever comes out of his mouth next will not go over well with his very upset fiancée.

Antonio Lorenzo built his dance studio from the ground up and turned it into a multi-million-dollar business for Tyana and him today, through twenty-five years of hard work and dedication to his clients.  His loyalty has come with a steep price, though, and many, many sacrifices.  One of those sacrifices being a personal life. 

He’s never had successful long-term relationships before meeting Tyana, mainly because they have been more of a liability to him than an asset.  In order to maintain the business goals he’s set, he had to make his business a priority, which included his clients, his staff, and his hours—a habit that has been hard for him to break, even now.

“Eschuchame, por favor,” Antonio was stalling, and begging a little.  He knew he would need it.

“Go ahead; I am listening!  What’s your excuse?”

“I’m sorry I let you down, but Darla stopped by with a payment, then she insisted on opening up about a problem, which made her cry talking about it.” Antonio cringed, and then heard nothing on the other end.  “Tatyana?  Tatyana?”  He looked at his phone.  It was silent.

When he realized Tyana had actually hung up on him, it didn’t surprise him.  He shook his head and sighed heavily.  He tried to call her back, but she didn’t answer.  His honesty didn’t pay off.  Not this time anyway.

Tyana apologetically cancelled the appointment with the wedding planner, again.  She looked down and touched her engagement ring while reminiscing over the night Antonio proposed to her—in Miami, Florida.  That night held such romantic memories for her when he confessed his love to her after rescuing her from that painful encounter with her ex, Ellis and his wife, Charlotte—an obviously pregnant Charlotte.  She erased that thought and skipped to the unforgettable moment Antonio gallantly carried her back to his hotel room.  There they stared deeply into each other’s eyes, feeling their souls converge, and then were led by their hearts to his bed where they affectionately made love for the first time.  That special moment had all the fiery passion of a first-time affair.  She felt a flutter in her stomach just thinking back on it, but shook it off, then left.  All the way home, she reflected back on the weird dream only moments ago.

Antonio and Tyana shared a partnership at the dance studio—a partnership that came with the proposal of marriage.  They were not only partners in running the business, but Tyana willingly and eagerly trained to become an instructor.  She felt especially excited about working along side her new fiancé.   Once she immersed herself into a teaching and ownership role, she quickly found out how consuming that business could be.  She also saw, firsthand, how demanding and intrusive the students were most of the time, without regard to the instructors’ own personal lives.  She immediately incorporated boundaries for her students while she worked.  But, she noticed that wasn’t always the case with Antonio.  Although she expected him to set similar boundaries, he had a different style of handling his students.  It had never occurred to him to modify his way of dealing with his client.   As he consistently held the impressive ranking of top studio owner and teacher, he didn’t think he needed to change a thing; and change didn’t come easily to him.  His business was thriving; so why rock the boat?

The couple traveled together to every competition participated by the studio, which amounted to nearly ten competitions nationally a year, and countless local and regional competitions.  That active schedule often kept them losing track of time—time needed to plan a formal wedding with all the bells and whistles.  Antonio has never maintained a close friendship outside of the dance business, so he didn’t have the same need as Tyana for “balance.”  He rarely spent time with his own family—that is, before meeting her.

Tyana wiped away a stray tear as she drove toward home.  She loved Antonio with all her heart.  She wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her life with him, as his wife.  He became the most important person in her life from the moment they became engaged.  No one else took precedence over him at that point—no one or nothing.  She made a point to protect their private relationship with her heart and her love.  She picked up her phone and dialed.

“Hi, Trevor, it’s me.”

“Hey, what’s going on?”

“Is this a bad time?”

“No, where are you?  I thought you had an appointment with the wedding planner.  Are you finished already?”

“Yes; I mean, no, I cancelled.  I’m on my way home.”

“Why did you cancel?  What happened?”

“I’d rather not talk about it.  What time do you get off work?  Is Cleo waiting for you?”

“Well, I told her I’d be straight home, which I should be finished in about half an hour.  What’s going on?  Where are you now?”

“Close to home.”

“I’ll be up that way in about an hour and a half—depending on traffic.  Do you want me to call you when I get there?  I can let Cleo know I’m meeting you and will be a little late, or you can come over and have dinner with us.  How serious is it?  You sound serious.”  Trevor detected something weird in her voice.

“No, no, it’s nothing.  I don’t want to interfere with your plans—it’s no big deal.”

“Tyana…” Trevor knew his friend wouldn’t call him on his job for nothing.

 “I just pulled into my garage.  I was going to take the evening off and catch up on some paperwork, but I think I should call Kellie.  She’s left several messages that I haven’t returned yet.  It’s not that I don’t want to spend the evening with you and Cleo, but I really do owe Kellie a phone call.  It’ll take you a while before you can even get up this way anyway.  You and I will catch up real soon, I promise.”

“Sure, no problem.  I’ll hold you to it, though.”  He paused.  “Are you sure you’re alright?  The truth.”

“Yes, I’m positive.  Trust me.”  She looked in her rear view mirror.  “Hey look, I gotta go.  I’ll call you later.”  She hung up abruptly when she saw Antonio pull up behind her.  She got out of the car.  He got out of his car.

“Tatyana, what are you doing here?”  Antonio sounded slightly agitated, but more confused, as he approached her cautiously. 

She closed her car door and stood facing him.  “I left.  You were late, again, so I cancelled and left.”

“I told you I was on my way.  I called to apologize and they said you cancelled and left.  Why did you hang up on me?  I apologized to you for being detained—it couldn’t be helped.  I left as quickly as I could.”

“Antonio, it’s the same story and I didn’t want to hear more excuses.  It’s embarrassing to arrive late all the time.  What’s done is done.  You did what you needed to do and it’s over.  You make me feel that this wedding isn’t as important to you as I initially thought; otherwise, we would have been married by now.  It’s also very clear to me that the studio and your clients will always come first.”

“Tatyana—“

“No, I admired that of you when I met you, so I don’t hold it against you.  It’s your world and you need to give of yourself the way you do.  But, I gave up my world when you asked me to marry you and share your life.  I did it because I not only loved you, but I loved the dance world, too.  I still do.  Then we transformed this beautiful house together—to make it ours—because you proposed to me to get married; not be engaged forever.  You have to make time for us, too!”  She turned away.  “Excuse me.”

Tyana walked into the house and closed the door behind her, leaving Antonio standing in the garage alone.  She went into the couple’s bedroom, then closed and locked the door.  She stood still on the other side of the threshold for a moment listening to her heart pound and shatter at the same time.  Antonio tried to apologize to her through the locked door, but she refused to accept it or let him enter.  She requested her privacy.  She didn’t like to argue with him because she knew his intentions were loyal—to his business.  She also knew he adored and loved her, so she didn’t want to come off as the jealous type.  The fact of the matter was, she never felt jealous at all of his attention to any of his students as much as she felt hurt, at times, by his lack of attention to their relationship, especially when important situations or issues between them arose.

He eventually told her that he loved her, and then left—returning to the dance studio to finish out his schedule.  He decided to wait until she felt ready to talk about it, but at the same time, he hated himself for letting her down.  He cherished her. 

Tyana called Kellie and made plans to meet her for dinner.

¨¨¨

 “I can’t believe you took the night off!  What did I do to deserve this treat of your company in the middle of the week?” inquired Kellie.  “And why aren’t you at work?”

“I just wanted to visit with you and I felt bad that I’ve been working so much and not spending any time with you.”

“Yeah, right.  I don’t believe you, but I’ll take it if it means I get to spend a few hours with you.  So, how’s the Salsa King?”

“Good,” Tyana said, looking down at her menu.  “Kel, I’m thinking about taking this weekend off and going up to Sedona.  I know it’s short notice, but would you like to go with me?  I’ve been feeling badly about not spending much time with you and pretty soon Antonio and I will be getting married and going on our honeymoon, so I thought…”

“Wait, what’s this really all about?”

“Nothing more than that.  I thought you and I could spend some time at a Spa resort in Sedona—you and me.  Kinda like a girls’ bachelorette weekend.  If you don’t think…”

“No!  I think it’s a great idea!  I’m just shocked to hear you suggest something so wonderfully amazing like that.  I can barely get you out to dinner and now you’re talking a Spa weekend in Sedona.  Sure!  I’d love to go!  Let me check with Paul and see what he’s got going on and I’ll let you know.  I’m sure he’ll be okay with it, though.  Wow!  I’m thrilled and looking forward to it.  Let’s order!  My treat!”

The two friends talked over dinner for several hours.  Tyana decided to keep her earlier conversation with Antonio to herself.  She didn’t want to involve Kellie or Trevor with something so personal, prematurely.  She wasn’t sure, herself, how to resolve her issue with Antonio, so she didn’t want to alarm her friends.  She thought a cooling down period in Sedona would do the trick and then everything would get back on track.  She and Antonio have been working around the clock and she had convinced herself that they were both a little stressed from the hours and the demands of the job.

¨¨¨

 “Hey.”  Antonio opened the bedroom door and slowly approached Tyana.  It was eleven o’clock in the evening and she laid awake still thinking about their earlier confrontation.  She glanced over at the clock, then looked at him.

“Hi,” she replied in a soft voice.

“Té quiéro,” he whispered, as he leaned in closer to her.  He sat down next to her on the bed and kissed her forehead.

“I love you, too.”

Antonio retreated to the bathroom to take a shower.  When he returned, he slipped his warm, naked body into bed, next to her, until their bodies brushed and held—skin on skin.  She could never resist the sexiness of his physique next to her.  Even the slightest touch of his hardness sent chills down her spine.  He smoothed back her hair from her face with his left hand and kissed her lips, as he lightly touched her bare breasts with his right hand.  She kissed him back, but not with the same intensity.  In her mind, she hadn’t completely forgiven him for his error in judgment earlier that day.  She was, however, receptive to him making love to her—a very passionate act they engaged in often and enjoyed with each other.  She could also never ignore how her body responded to his.

When Antonio reached intense, climatic heights, he noticed that Tyana had not, but instead she lay very quietly, staring off into space.  He caught his breath first before speaking.

“Hey, what’s going on up there?” he asked as he lightly patted her forehead.

“What do you mean?”

“You didn’t seem exactly in the moment with me just now and you’re so quiet.  Are you okay?”  He kissed her forehead.

“Hmm—I’m fine.  I guess I was tired.  I’ve been working a lot of hours lately.”

“Are you sure you’re okay?  Can I help you…?”  Antonio began touching her in an intimate way.  He kissed her belly in route toward her hips.

“No, Antonio, I’m okay.  I said I’m tired.”  She squirmed from underneath him and refused his sexual gesture.

He surmised that she might still be angry with him about what happened earlier.

“I’ve been thinking,” she sat up.  “I’m going to reschedule my students this weekend and take the weekend off.  I need some time away for awhile—a breather, so to speak.”  She slowly glanced up at him, waiting for a reaction.  Being the workaholic that he was, he would ordinarily react strongly to such an impromptu decision by her.

“What do you mean—time away?  Away where?  We have a competition coming up in a month.”

“I was thinking of going to Sedona with Kellie for a Spa weekend.  Just a weekend.”

“Oh…  Well, if that’s what you need.”  He paused for a moment, trying to figure out what to say.  He realized he might be overreacting.  “I’ll miss you.” 

Antonio didn’t want to sulk and show his disapproval of Tyana’s decision to go away, without consulting him first, but he understood her need to take out her anger on him in a passive aggressive way for what he did.  He would go along with it.  At least she’s going with Kellie.   They kissed good night, then turned over to go to sleep.  He snuggled up closely behind her and hugged her tightly before drifting off to sleep.  She lay awake a little longer, reflecting on the dream she had earlier in the day about Charlotte.  It gave her a weird feeling.

Chapter ONE "Journey Intuition"

“C’mon now, Journey, I think you already know the answer to your own question.”

“You do? And, I do?”

“Don’t you? Every time you come here, we go through the same routine. You know what I’m going to tell you before I tell you. You have to trust your own instincts.   When are you going to learn to do that? You have it in you. It’s there—waiting for you to tap into it. Don’t you want to accept the gift?”

“I don’t know. I don’t always like what my instincts are telling me, I guess. I’m hoping they’re faking me out or playin’ a joke on me.”

“You’ll save yourself a lot of time when you realize that your instincts—like them or not—are probably on target. Not that I don’t want your business, but my guess is you already know the answers to all your burning questions before you get here—you only come here for validation. Am I right?”

“Guilty. So, since I’m here, is my relationship a waste of time?”

“You want to go through with this the easy way or do you want to try something different this time?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m going to take your money anyway today,” laughed Ginger, Journey’s very intuitive psychic, “but let’s try this for kicks. Go out on a limb and tell me exactly what you think is happening in your relationship. What’s his name, Rick?”

“Yes, Rick,” Journey answered nervously. She twisted her hands together and looked at Ginger, then down at the floor while taking a deep breath. She looked up and returned an embarrassed smile. “I think Rick might be interested in someone…else,” confessed Journey. All smiles were gone and a serious expression replaced them.

Ginger gave Journey an affirmative nod and a hand gesture that told her that she knew Journey was on the right track, but holding back more. She waited.

“Okay…I think he’s still seeing his ex-girlfriend. Then I’m right because you know it, too. Damn! I knew it!”

“Journey, I know what you know and that your intentions in this relationship don’t exactly match those of Rick’s. I only want you to admit what’s first in your gut and then your heart. You don’t have to come here each time you suspect something going wrong in your relationships. I think you wait too long to confront these situations. By then you become on the defense instead of on the offense when dealing with them. I hate to see you go through so much agony—these men cause you to suffer so much. It’s not necessary. You see the signs, yet you stick around until the guys end up leaving you, or hurting you, instead of you leaving them when you’re on to them.”

“I know-I know. I don’t know why that is. I think or hope they’ll realize what a good catch—a good person—I am and then they’ll come to their senses. I have so much invested in these relationships; I can’t give up on the relationship so easily like they do.”

“May I ask what you’re looking for?”

“I’m looking for magic—exceptional, unbelievable, you know…magic.”

“Hmm…Perhaps the men you choose aren’t as committed as you are.”

Ginger’s words resonated loudly and reverberated like a bad melody stuck in Journey’s head. The worst part was that she knew they rang true. She didn’t feel particularly proud of herself at that moment, but perhaps liberated. She had to face the truth about what she’s felt all along might be the case with some of the men she’s dated—at least during the final stages of the relationship. But what made them drift, she wondered?

Journey’s thirty-minute session with Ginger ended with her feeling more devoid than fulfilled. It wasn’t that she didn’t get the validation; on the contrary. But, she felt she walked away with more than she bargained for—much, much more.

Twenty-eight year old Journey Lucas took her perspicacious psychic’s advice that day and began to meditate more frequently, especially when she sensed something odd or peculiar with her boyfriend’s behavior, for starters. It’s not that she didn’t have other reasons to call upon her connections sooner, but relationship troubles were the most perplexing dimensions of her life so far. She has been secretly in tuned with her acute intuitive abilities for years, but never executed her special skills. Instead she continued to seek out Ginger, her trusty psychic, as a crutch and basically for validation of her bizarre feelings. She refused to believe that she, herself, had a gift to predict or read a person’s destiny even though she felt intuitive and had premonitions on many occasions. But after getting her heart broken and enduring disappointments so many times, she finally resigned to becoming a freak, as she put it. She finally asked herself, what did she have to lose? 

When Journey tucked in her adorable two-year-old son, Daniel, she paused at the foot of his bed, being paralyzed by a weird feeling. Then, spontaneously, she grabbed at her head. The pain piercing her temples was extraordinary and frightening, actually. She immediately dropped to the hardwood floor to catch her breath. She’d never felt a pain so excruciating, so paralyzing and fierce. Nearly on the brink of fainting, the aching subsided; then as quickly as it came, it left.  She sat for a few moments, still breathing heavy from the unexpected episode, wondering what happened. She turned and looked toward her son, who hadn’t stirred at all during those horrifying moments. Journey crawled to her son; actually she was pulled to him. She felt a strong force guiding her to him. She didn’t understand as she slowly stood up and peered over him. The phone ringing broke her trance. She touched him lightly before leaving the room to answer the phone.

“Hey, babe,” greeted Donnie, her son’s father.

“Hey… Oh!” The weird feeling returned for a split second. She gasped to catch her breath.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Yes, yes. What’s up?”

“I’m calling to check in like you asked. I’m going to come by and get Daniel in the morning, right?”

“Right, oh, right; eight o’clock. I’ll have him ready.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? You sound funny.”

“Yeah, everything’s good. I’m good, just a little headache. I’ll see you in the morning.” She hung up still sensing some slight confusion. She lied; something wasn’t quite right, but she didn’t know exactly what. 

Donnie and Journey were no longer together as a couple—they never got married when she discovered her pregnancy. They hadn’t been seeing each other very long when they found out. They secretly loved each other, but Journey didn’t want an impromptu wedding strictly because she was pregnant. She feared that by acknowledging her feelings to Donnie, he would misconstrue them as a desperate attempt to trap him. So, she refused his noble gesture to marrying her. She was still in law school and had a mountain of student loans. She insisted that they not make a big deal out of the pregnancy and continue their lives separately. Donnie persisted for months to convince Journey that he loved her—trying to get her to fall in love with him because he wanted nothing more than to raise their child together as a respectable couple and parents. He didn’t care about the things that concerned her. The more he showered her with gifts and attention, the more she withdrew from him. She had convinced herself that he was only doing it because she was pregnant and not because he could actually love her. He eventually gave up trying so hard, thinking that if he gave her some space, she would come around. However, after Daniel was born, all her focus went toward the baby and her studies. She had put everything else in her own personal life on hold, including Donnie. He was hurt, but would be patient because he knew he would always have a place in her life because of Daniel. 

During the two years following Daniel’s birth, Journey and Donnie were no closer to being the romantic couple that they both secretly envisioned at one time or another; and she never confessed those thoughts to him. They got so caught up in raising their son that they forgot about their own interest in each other. Their lives as new parents replaced their own needs. As a matter of fact, Journey started accepting casual dates with other guys she’d meet at the gym. Rick was the most recent boyfriend.

The next morning brought the same cloud of confusion that now shadowed Journey as she walked the remaining distance to work. She couldn’t get her conversation with Ginger off her mind or the reminders of that brief agonizing moment of pain she experienced. She wondered what it all meant and if it had something to do with Rick and the fact that she felt he was no longer faithful to her. For some reason, knowing that didn’t have quite the impact that she thought it should. It puzzled her, but she continued on, picking up her pace so not to be late.

When Journey sat down at her desk she smiled thinking about Daniel and how much he loved seeing his father. She loved her son more than life itself and couldn’t imagine not having him in it. She often wondered what it would be like for them both if she did marry Donnie. She’d always loved him and she knew he loved her and his son. The question now arose whether or not she passed up a good man because of her insecurities, independence and principles, not to mention her questionable judgment in men. Rick. Did Rick really make her happy? She admitted that he was a lot of fun and a good lover, but she knew he still had a weak spot for his ex-girlfriend who constantly called him crying and threatening suicide if he didn’t come to her aid. His gallant gesture often interfered in their relationship, and he wasn’t exactly patient with toddlers. Oh, he liked Daniel, but was more into spending time with Journey privately, than sharing her with her son.

Journey thought about what Ginger said regarding having the gift to connect to a multi-dimensional reality. There were no limitations to her reality if she truly believed in herself. She was beginning to come to terms with her special skills. She placed the picture of her son back on her desk, when she received a phone call.

“This is Journey Lucas,” she answered still staring at the picture. She didn’t recognize the voice on the other end, so she refocused and gave her undivided attention to the caller. “Oh my God!” were the last words Journey spoke. When she stood up as a reaction to the shocking news, she dropped the receiver, blacked out, and fell to the floor.

When Journey came to, her boss and some of her co-workers had made her comfortable on a nearby sofa in her boss’ office. The paramedics were dispatched and en route to help out. She looked up at her boss, Alex Hartman, and broke down in tears. After excusing the others he sat down on the sofa next to her and comforted her.

“I’m so sorry Journey. What do you need from me? I’m here for you.”

“My baby…I…I…can’t. I can’t believe it. Please tell me it’s a dream. Please, Alex, please! What am I going to do?” She fell into a hysterical cry when the realization hit her that her two year-old son, as well as his father, was killed in a car accident on the way to the Daycare Center.

When Journey reached the hospital where Daniel and Donnie were taken, Alex was literally holding her up as they made their way to identify the bodies. Her boss refused to leave her side in her condition; she was basically in shock and falling apart. She refused treatment herself when the paramedics arrived for her, but instead insisted on getting to her son as quickly as possible. That debilitating pain returned when she walked into the room where her lifeless son lay drenched in his own blood. A gut-wrenching, shrilling cry came from deep within her soul and she collapsed at the sight of her dead baby. When she was helped up, she rushed to his body and draped her arms around him as she laid her head on his body and wailed. Alex stood watching in agony for her as he, himself, was close to tears. He could actually feel her pain and couldn’t imagine if he lost any of his children like that and at such a young age. He went to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. When she looked up, she caught a glimpse of Donnie’s body in the next bed. Her heart broke into a million pieces and her bottom lip quivered uncontrollably. She slowly moved past Alex and approached Donnie’s body. When the doctors returned, they watched a destroyed woman dealing with the loss of two paramount people in her life. All their hearts went out to her as they tried to console her. She was inconsolable.

Chapter ONE "To Love and To Cheat"

“Hey Holly, how about that one?” asked Elaine discreetly pointing to the tall, curiously handsome man leaning against the bar, while restlessly scanning the room.

“You mean the suit and tie? Uh…nope! No wedding ring,” Holly pointed out after making a quick assessment of his left hand.

“Are you kidding? Do you know how many women would kill for a man not wearing a wedding ring? And he’s gorgeous!”

“Well, where are those women because he looks ready, willing, and definitely able.”

As soon as she said that, the bachelor winked at her. She smiled, but turned away uninterested.

“You’re crazy! And, I wish you would stop all that nonsense. You’re better than that.”

“Better than what? I’m perfectly content with my life and lifestyle. I’m okay with what I’m doing and it suits me.”

“Do you ever think about the wife—what you’re doing to her?”

“No, why should I? That’s her problem, not mine.”

“Holly! You’re being selfish and, and…”

“And what?”

“It’s wrong.”

“Excuse me. Are you judging me? After all we’ve been through, I can’t believe you can sit there and judge me. Do I even have to bring up that party on campus back in college…?”

“Okay! You’re right.”

“That’s more like it.”

“I’m married, Hol!”

“Oh, so you think I’m going to pounce on your husband?”

“Well, no.”

“Of course not. But if he makes a pass at me…”

Elaine returned a shocked look on her face.

“I’m just kidding, but my point is, it’s not me, it’s them. They come on to me and I, well…answer back with what they want to hear.”

“It’s not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be funny, I’m lavishing in the royal treatment. Don’t you see, most single guys don’t have a clue. They put their best foot forward in the beginning…holding the door, picking up the tab, remembering special days, buying little gifts. But after the newness and the novelty wears off, and they get you into bed, I might add, then it’s only a matter of time before they’re lazy and neglectful. Even the sex turns mediocre. What girl wants to settle for that? Most married men, after a few years of marriage don’t have a clue either. But when married men step out and take a mistress, every day is Christmas for the mistress—at least for me. And the sex…girl, the excitement never dies because no one takes the other for granted and the affair never becomes monotonous. At least that’s been my experience.”

“How long do you plan to do this? I mean, don’t you ever want to settle down and get married?”

“Are you kidding? And fall into that rut? No offense. But let me ask you, how long have you been married now?”

“Three years.”

“And the sex…how’s that going for ya?”

“It’s okay.”

“No, seriously. Are you having as much sex and is it as creative as when you were dating your husband?”

“It’s good. I’m not complaining,” Elaine said sounding a little on the defense.

“You’re not answering my question. You know what, don’t bother. I rest my case. Why should I give up hot, wicked, monkey sex in the finest hotel rooms, in any city I want, at any time of day or night, all for what, routine? Hell no!”

“But they’re married!”

“That’s what makes it so exciting! I don’t want to date them—not turned on by the possibility of them becoming boring. If it even remotely becomes stale, I’ve got an easy out. No questions asked. That’s incentive for them to apply their best at all times. Sure, if single guys were the least bit attentive like that after the sex has been introduced, then maybe, just maybe I’d consider dating them, but that hasn’t ever happened.” She thought of the exception—her last boyfriend, Eric. “Elaine, I’m happy. I get a lot out of this situation. We both get what we want and there’s none of that messy relationship drama. We’re always happy and having a good time—hell, a great time! We’re focused, you could say, ‘cause we don’t have time to waste and squander.”

“It’s just wrong!”

“Yeah, well, I once dated a guy who showed no objection when I offered to pay the dinner tab. It was as if he expected it. I dated a guy who totally forgot about my birthday. One guy gave me practical gifts for Christmas our second Christmas together. I tell you, who wants a practical gift for Christmas unless you ask for it? I can buy practical gifts for myself, or buy me a practical gift on a Tuesday just because, not on a special day. I have horror stories about Valentine’s Day, too. It goes on and on. Who needs it? Not me, and not anymore. Now, I’m smothered in expensive gifts from Gucci, Prada, Neiman Marcus, Sax, Armani, Tiffany’s; I fly first class to places like Italy, the Caribbean, Hawaii, Japan, Australia, Jamaica, California, Virginia Beach, you name it—and not for the job. And, I’ve stayed in fabulous hotels like the Ritz, The Four Seasons, The Omni, The Peninsula, and lots of charming Inns, resorts, bungalows, and Bed and Breakfast places on the coast or in romantic settings on either golf courses or in the mountains. I’ve gone skiing, sailing, yachting, and even a gondola ride in Venice. And, the restaurants… My point being, married men have willingly paid for it all and have treated me like a queen, and I take care of them, so why would or should I give all that up? And speaking of the sex…holy cow! So many positions, so many venues, so many times. It never gets stale or monotonous.”

“But what happens when he starts to feel guilty and decides he doesn’t want to hurt his wife or family?”

“I don’t dwell on that, plus I’m not holding a gun to anyone’s head to cheat with me. They do what they want to do. If they want to stop, we stop. That’s why I’m not tied down to one married man. I’m not emotionally invested. And, even a married man may have a tendency to become too lax, but not if he knows there’s competition. I can present competition to a married man and he can’t do much about it, but compete; up his game. If it’s more than a one-night stand and it works for him, he’ll be back. A single guy could get jealous, become territorial or even walk. Look, I don’t want to justify my decision anymore. I’m happy—bottom line. I’m extremely content. And, I’ll continue to do this for as long as it works for me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a very cute prospect who’s been eyeing me for the past ten minutes and he’s headed this way. And, he’s wearing a ring. Don’t blow this for me!”

“Holly! Don’t do it. Stop wrecking marriages!”

“Elaine, please. If this is going to upset your delicate moral sensibilities, then please take a walk. Hurry, he’s coming!”

Elaine shook her head and excused herself to the restroom in a huff just as Sean walked up.

“Hi, I couldn’t help but notice that you looked thirsty from across the room, and since I was headed toward the bar…”

“I’ll have a Chardonnay,” replied Holly nonchalantly.

“Excellent; I’ll be right back.” They both smiled at each other before Sean left to order the drinks. 

As Holly sat across from Sean, sipping on her wine and half listening to him talk about his college days, she studied the gold band on his ring finger and smiled. He definitely had possibilities—tall, rich, handsome, and hitched.

“So, Sean, how long have you been married?”

“Uh, eleven years. Are you married?”

“Oh hell no!”

“Why so emphatic?”

“I didn’t mean to sound that way, it’s just that it’s not for me, that’s all.”

“Have you been married?”

“No, no, no, no, no. But I give a lot of credit to those who are. They’re much more into making sacrifices than I am. I guess I love my freedom too much.”

“I see.” Her comment made Sean stop and think about his own sacrifices—eleven years worth of them. Then he focused back on Holly’s lips, her eyes, her breasts…

“So, are you from here or visiting?” she asked.

“Uh, visiting. I’m from Seattle.”

“Are you here on business?”

“As a matter of fact…no. I’m here for a wedding of an old college roommate—the one I mentioned who lives here.”

“Really? You’re here for a wedding, alone?” she asked, wondering about the wife.

“Why would you think I’m here alone?”

“You’re in here, talking to me, trying to feel me out and contemplating a fling because you’re finally free of the wife and with all the bachelor party activities going on for your friend, you’re wondering if you could pull it off—a fling—go wild for once in your boring life.”

“Interesting.”

“Am I right?”

“Not quite, but close.”

“What part isn’t right?”

“You’re pretty direct.”

“I don’t believe in wasting time. When I see something I like I usually go after it. Thanks for the drink by the way.”

“You’re welcome. So, what’s your story? You’re not married, you obviously have some aversion to it…” they both laughed. “What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a flight attendant. And, let me be clear about one thing, I love marriage—for other people, just not for me. So, where’s your wife?”

“My wife is…I don’t know where my wife is. We’re separated actually. I thought it was temporary, but it turns out she wants to make it permanent.”

Holly’s excitement over meeting Sean instantly deflated. She didn’t want to start up something with someone who had baggage and would eventually make her want to leave him, too. She wanted adventure, risk, a hot, scandalous affair!

“Oh. Well, you know…Sean…it was nice meeting you. I think I should be going now.”

“What? Why? You haven’t finished your wine…” She turned up the glass.

“Finished. And thanks!”

“Is it because I’m married? We’re separated and I’ll be divorced soon.”

“Nooo…” she looked at his face. He looked so sincere and honest. “I think you’re attractive and you seem like a good guy from what I can tell after one drink and thirty minutes of conversation, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Okay. Well, it was nice meeting you Holly.” He reached into his pocket, pulled out his business card and handed it to her. “Here’s my contact information. If you’re ever in Seattle look me up.”

“And, if you ever get married again, look me up.” She tossed him her card, got up and walked away. Sean shot her a puzzled look, completely confused by her remark.

Whatever reasons Sean and his wife had for separating, Holly didn’t want to replace her. She always said that once a man’s been married and had children, especially, he will forever have baggage. She wanted no part of that. The more married and committed he was, the more interested she became—like a craving or addiction. She didn’t want to give up her “commitment-free” lifestyle. She found Elaine in the Ladies Lounge, talking on the phone—no doubt to her husband.

“So, what happened?”

“Great guy and all, but he’s getting a divorce!”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah, me too!”

“You’re nuts, you know. That’s not what I meant.”

“Let’s go.”

Elaine had more on her mind than what her husband wanted for dinner. She’d seen her friend settle for less and break up marriages at the same time and she couldn’t turn a blind eye to it anymore. She wanted to do something to open Holly’s eyes to the disservice she was doing to herself and to others, especially unsuspecting wives.

While leaving the bar, Holly ran into Jarred Reese, her close friend. She and Jarred met about five years ago when they used to live in the same building. Although they had a lot in common and would make an ideal couple, Jarred was very much single when they met, which turned Holly off immediately, but their chemistry and senses of humor kept them always finding themselves in the same place at the same time. They eventually cultivated a friendship that often left their friends confused as to why they never pursued anything more serious. Jarred tried to go out with her, romantically, several times in the past, but finally gave up when she explained her new affinity for married men. He didn’t understand her logic, especially when he’d heard the complaints from women about wanting available men, but the more he got to know Holly, the more he learned about her and her past. It eventually made sense to him, although he didn’t agree with it and felt she owed herself more than that. Not many had taken the time to get to know the real Holly Anderson and what drives her attraction to married men—what her underlying issues were for entertaining that kind of behavior. Jarred knew and, as a good friend, he respected her decision.

“Hey Holly, how’s it going?”

“Hi Jarred! How are ya?”

“I’m cool. Just going in here to chill for a minute. Hey Elaine.”

“Hi Jarred.”

“Oh hey, this is my boy, Kevin. Kevin, this is Holly and Elaine.”

“Nice to meet you,” replied Holly. Elaine waited her turn and then extended her hand.

“Ladies,” responded Kevin. He acknowledged them both, but took a second and longer glance at Holly. They exchanged a few more pleasantries before going their separate ways.

“What’s the story with your friend Holly? She’s pretty hot!”

“Let me tell you right off, dude, you’re not her type.”

“What does that mean? She doesn’t go for sophisticated, debonair, successful and charming men?”

“Where? Do you see any? I’m joking. No, she does, but you’re missing one more important element.”

“What’s that? I said successful.”

“You’re not married.”

“What? Is she married?”

“No and probably never will be. She only dates married men.”

“For real? Why? What kind of sense does that make?”

“That’s her. The more married, the better. She wouldn’t give you the time of day if she didn’t spot the ring first.”

“Is that right? She has something against single men?”

“Oh don’t get me started on her list. She has everything against single men. Apparently with married men, and the more committed the better, the world’s her oyster and she’s not about to give it up. She gets off on that kind of adventure—the fact that it’s never boring and there’s no commitment. She thinks it’s the shit. And, only because I know her, I know why she thinks that way. She’s a great person and she’s happy—that’s all that matters. But between you and me, I think she’s terrified of being in love.”

“So, are you saying you’ve never ‘hit’ it?”

“Nope. Tried, when we first met, but no ring, no chance in hell.”

“Damn, she’s gorgeous! How can she do this to me?”

“You and a bunch of other dudes following after her with boners.”

“But she hasn’t gotten to know me.”

“Kevin, give it up. Without the wifey, you’re not even in the game. Not even close.”

“Oh I’ll get her.”

“Oh yeah, how?”

“My charm, brotha. Step aside and let Mr. Smooth show you a thing or two.”

Jarred laughed at Kevin pretending to have a superficial and inflated ego. Kevin was one of his most successful and accomplished friends, and especially unpretentious. And if anyone deserved a legitimate shot at Holly, Kevin did. They were perfect for each other. Jarred didn’t have a doubt in his mind that Kevin could make Holly happy, but he was certain she wouldn’t give him the time of day. Therefore, he didn’t want to witness the brutal rejection that Kevin was about to receive, but he warned him.

“Don’t come crying to me when she cuts you down like a Blue Spruce at Christmas because I told you...”

“Yeah, you told me. Care to make a sizeable wager?”

“Oh you’re on. This will be the easiest bet I’ll ever win.”

“Not so fast. You forget who’s in the driver’s seat. She better buckle up, ‘cause she’s in for the ride of her life. I will have her calling my name in less than a week.”

“Oh, I can’t wait to see this. This is gonna hurt, man.”

“Once I get a little tēte-à-tēte going, she’s done.”

They continued to tease and banter each other with their witticism, while Kevin desperately devised a plan in his head—a clever scheme in which to get thirty-four year old Holly Anderson to surrender and fall victim to love with one of the most attractive, eligible bachelors in the market.

Chapter ONE "Angel Love"
(Spin-off from The Escort series)

 She kissed him with innocent essence of a first-time fling—soft, slow, anxious. She showed much reserve and caution as he placed the back of his hand against her cheek. She kept her hands folded on her lap. She didn’t know what to do with them actually. Her curiosity begged her to place her hands on him—anywhere. But her inexperience begged to differ. He didn’t wait for her. Instead, he picked them up and held them tightly at first, sensing her anxiety. She smiled timidly at him with the corner of her mouth and a glint in her eyes. She admired him. When he gently pushed her back against the pillow, she didn’t resist—she trusted him. She loved the way he smelled; the way he touched her, and now the way he felt against her. She had some idea that her first time would be special, but had no idea that she would nearly stroke out from the anticipation. He kissed her again, this time letting his tongue do most of the exploring in her mouth, in her ear, on her neck, and eventually finding its way to her perky, modest breasts. She held her breath. She wondered what he thought and what he tasted. She wondered if he could sense her nervousness. She felt nervous yet excited, especially when he touched her thigh and began to pull up her nightgown—easing it toward her waist.

“Ethan, wait.”

“What is it babe? Are you okay?”

“Yes. I mean, no. I’m not okay. I mean, this is…wow! I, uh…hold on…”

“Shh…stop talking.”

“But, I want to explain…”

“Carm…”

“It’s not what you…”

“It’s okay. Really.”

“I feel so stupid and naive.”

“You’re not stupid, nor naive. You’re smart, beautiful, and sexy.”

“I’m sorry. I’m not ready…again. I know I said I would be, but…”

“You don’t have to explain. I understand,” Ethan reassured her as he tugged her nightgown back down. “Hey, I love you and I don’t want to push you into anything. Really.”

“Why are you so good to me? I know you’ve waited a long time for me…for this, I mean. I can’t believe you’re so patient.”

“Geez, Carm. You don’t have to act so surprised, like I’m a sex maniac or something. You’re worth the wait because I love you.” He looked away. He had to admit to himself that he had waited a long time. They were college seniors now and he never thought she would make him wait that long or that she could be a virgin that long.

“I…like you—a lot. I mean…” she replied.

“Look, let’s just go to sleep.”

Carmilita turned over as Ethan wrapped his arms around her and held her securely. She closed her eyes wondering what the expression on his face looked like at that very moment. She couldn’t force herself to look. She knew she had hurt his feelings telling him she “liked” him, again. They’d been together for nearly two years—they met on the campus of Northwestern University where they both attended school.  It was at a gathering for her twenty-first birthday when they discovered their birthdays were only two weeks apart. After a year and a half, she still couldn’t bring herself to tell him she loved him, even though she thought she did. He treated her kindly and with respect. She had nothing bad to say about him. Nothing he did raised any red flags either. She didn’t understand why she couldn’t tell him she loved him yet, or make love to him. At twenty-two she hadn’t made love to anyone. She felt in her heart that she wanted Ethan to be her first, but didn’t exactly know what was stopping her. She just hoped he’d be patient enough with her until she felt ready.

When Carmilita made sure Ethan was sound asleep, she quietly slipped out of his bed and locked herself in the bathroom with her phone.

“Hi, I’m sorry for calling so late…can you talk?”

“Of course, I can talk, ‘Milita. Are you okay? Where are you?” Her brother left the warmth of his bed, and the warmth of his girlfriend’s body, to take his sister’s call at one in the morning.

“I’m fine, Darius. I’m with Ethan.” As much as Darius protected his little sister, he actually liked Ethan. But nonetheless, in his mind, no one was good enough for Carmilita. And, he would protect her from everyone and everything. Since the day she was born, when he was only five years old, he’d been protecting her.

“Then what’s wrong? It’s one o’clock. Does dad know where you are?”

“Yes. I talked to Daddy and told him that I was staying with Ethan tonight. You know how Mommy is. She still thinks I’m twelve and needs to know where I am at every second of the day. She’s driving Daddy crazy always worrying. She doesn’t want me spending the night with Ethan and she constantly puts Daddy in the middle of it.”

“Don’t come down on her so hard. She cares. You’re still her baby. So, why are you calling if everything’s okay? Where’s Ethan?”

“He’s asleep.” Even Darius, who was liberal and had experimented with sex at a very young age, had a hard time thinking of his baby sister sleeping with someone. He didn’t think she was ready. In her family’s minds, they felt she was still too young and too naïve to know all the consequences of casual sex, despite the extensive sex education enforced by her parents. Her father, Sebastién Marcelis, the once notorious Chicago escort, who’d bed hundreds of women throughout his lucrative escorting career, was probably the most concerned about his daughter’s virtue. “He…”

“’Milita, I know Ethan’s a good guy and I’m relieved of that, but please don’t think you owe him anything. If you’re not ready for something serious with him, then you’re not ready. That’s all there’s to it and that’s acceptable. You don’t have to make excuses for it, or apologize to him for it. If he’s a decent guy, and I hope he is, he will respect you, regardless.”

“Thanks Darius. I’m sorry I called you so late, but I panicked. I like Ethan; I don’t want to lose him. He’s really a sweet guy and I know he cares for me, but I didn’t know what to do.” Darius and Carmilita often shared intuitive thoughts. They’ve read each other’s mind more often than they’ve actually spoken real words. He’s been keeping a watchful eye on her since the day she was born, which was when he felt a strong, innate connection to her. The loss of his own mother, days before Carmilita’s birth, played a significant role in their powerful bond, which proves unbreakable, even today.

“If you’re ever confused, then do nothing. You’ll know when it’s right. But there’s no rush, and there especially shouldn’t be any rush for you,” he joked, letting his protective side show. “Listen, I know I didn’t exactly make the best choices myself, but take it from me, I know that there’s nothing special or even sexy about sex with someone you don’t care about or necessarily love. It’s all crappy sex until you experience it with someone you love and they love you.” He exaggerated a bit. “You’re a uniquely special person, and you know that.” He referred to how she was conceived and came to be his sister. “Therefore, you should never settle for anything less than unique and spectacular in anything you choose to do. And, remember…it’s always your choice.”

“Thanks. I love you.”

“Ditto kiddo. Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

“Tell Kendall hi for me.” She wondered if he loved Kendall.

“I will. I’ll call you later, okay? Good night.”

When Carmilita hung up, she thought about what Darius said regarding her concerns. Aside from the special bond and closeness between them, created the day she was born, they shared a profound connection, no doubt in their minds who spurred that connection.

Once Carmilita learned about the woman whose love for her father gave Carmilita her existence, she’d become more intrigued and connected to that woman—Princess Spencer—Darius’ mother. Carmilita resented her biological mother—Natalya—for not telling her the truth before she found out accidentally at age twelve. As much as Natalya tried to talk to her about the events of her birth, and make up for her mistake, Carmilita struggled with understanding, and in the process became keeper to Princess’ memory, and therefore referred to Princess as her real mother. She considers her biological mother as simply the surrogate. Her father didn’t agree with her decision to treat her mother that way, and her stepsister, Arianna, scolded her for disrespecting their mother. Darius tried to talk to her about it and get her to change her mind about slighting Natalya’s rightful claim as her mother, but Carmilita’s mind was made up once she accepted Princess as her real mother. Since knowing about her, she felt a spiritual connection to Princess. She never let on what those connections were or how they affected her daily life. But recently, the vibes had grown stronger and were influencing her, even with simple matters.

The next morning, Carmilita set out to her morning classes as Ethan attended his. And, although he loved Carmilita and recognized her special gifts as a bright student, talented model, and a kind person in general, Ethan wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold out waiting for her, sexually. He didn’t expect his sex life to come to an abrupt halt when he met her. But when he learned of her virtue at her age, he figured it wouldn’t be for much longer because he knew they shared great chemistry. However, he had waited through their sophomore and junior years, but he had to admit that he had strong urges. He didn’t want to lose her, so he hoped to convince her to trust him and give of herself to him physically because, truth be known, he was running out of patience. His lack of patience occasionally caused him to vent his frustrations openly to his friends. His friends didn’t know Carmilita as well as he did and interpreted her reserved nature as a tactic of making Ethan look bad or giving him an unfavorable reputation with girls. He was good-looking, smart, outgoing, and once regarded as the most desirable “catch” among the girls.

When Carmilita came along, without much effort, she took him out of the game, so to speak. He pursued her more aggressively and he won her over with his charm. It didn’t take her long to develop strong feelings for him, but after a year of dating, she still couldn’t bring herself to tell him she loved him. She’d only been close to her brother and father, and to her, no one could hold a candle to either. They were the most influential men in her life, and as long as she had them, she felt she had everything. They made her feel that way her entire life so not to give her a sense of emotional deprivation, causing her to make a regrettable mistake with some random boy. Any boy would have a hell of a time impressing her enough to gain her love. At one point, of course, Ethan wanted to convince her that sex was the next logical step in their relationship by his confession of his love for her. He’d hope to do that before he lost his friends’ admiration and respect. But it wasn’t long before he realized that she was an extraordinary person with a pure heart. He’d been witness to countless games the girls and guys in his school played on each other to gain the upper hand in the relationship or the “chase,” but not Carmilita. It was simple with her. She wouldn’t give up her virtue to just anybody for just any reason. It actually had to mean something to her. Ironically, her father, as well as her mother, taught her that. One would say, she learned a lot from her father’s past, once he took the time to explain the truth about men and what the good ones wanted, hence his long-standing policy of never getting emotionally involved with any woman who paid to have sex with him. But everyone knew that Princess was an exception to that rule. Princess’ love for Sebastién changed all their lives and ultimately transcended reason and rationale.

But the events of that afternoon changed the course for Ethan and Carmilita. Whether it was the desire to claim a virgin or the challenge to steal Carmilita from Ethan, and prove his virility at the same time, Brian Walters decided to take matters into his own hands. Brian, one of Ethan’s classmates who found out about Ethan’s situation with Carmilita, waited for her at her dorm room after her afternoon classes ended. Considering the lax atmosphere around the dorms, it wasn’t hard for him to get to her. Most of the students were familiar with who belonged and who didn’t, but because of Brian’s popularity with the females, he didn’t seem out of place anywhere. Most of the girls he kept company with were glad to do so, hence his popularity. He figured it was time to add the very hot, sweet, wholesome little Carmilita Marcelis to his flock.

When Carmilita spotted Brian, she undoubtedly thought he was looking for Jennifer, her roommate, or one of Jennifer’s friends, so she greeted him warmly.

“Hey Brian. Uh, I don’t think Jennifer is here. Today she has a full class schedule, so I don’t expect to see her until about five o’clock.”

“Oh, yeah, well, I’m not exactly looking for Jennifer,” he clarified, as he sized her up with his shifty eyes.

“Oh.”

“I thought I’d check you out and see what you’re up to.”

“Well, I just stopped by to drop off my books, then I’m cuttin’ out.”

“What’s the rush, princess? I just got here.” Some of the more vexatious kids on campus nicknamed her princess, unknowingly, of course, the connection of the real Princess in her life. She paid no mind to their mockery. Part of her liked being called princess, but she wasn’t so naïve to not know why they teased her. She just didn’t care.

“Uh…what do you mean?”

“I mean, I thought we could hang out—you and me—and get to know each other and chill for a while. You know…like, check each other out.”

“I have plans.” She suddenly felt weird about being in her room alone with Brian. She looked around, for what, she didn’t know—perhaps an escape route. There wasn’t one and Brian was blocking the only door. Her heart began to beat a little faster as the feeling in her gut got stronger. When she looked at the door again, Brian reached over and shut it. Suddenly, she became aware of the disgusting and overbearing cologne he was wearing.

“C’mon. Whaddaya say we just hang out for a few. Imma nice guy and all, and…I can teach you a few things.”

“But I have to be somewhere.”

“You’ll get there, princess…eventually.” He stepped in front of her path.

“Stop calling me that!” She didn’t like the way it sounded coming from him. “What are you doing Brian? Don’t play; let me out.”

“Okay. Don’t get so freakin’ paranoid. I’m not going to hurt you. You ain’t even givin’ me a chance ta get ta know ya.”

“Another time. I have to go.”

“Fine. If you can get to the door, then you can leave. I’m not stoppin’ ya.”

Carmilita advanced toward the door, but Brian stepped in front of it.

“Please move. Please. I have to go.”

He touched her long silky hair in a creepy way that made her skin crawl. She developed a lump in her throat and began to back up.

“Don’t be like that. I hear you’re a tease. You like teasin’ guys don’tcha, princess?”

“No. Please leave me alone.”

“Us guys have to look out for each other, ya know.”

“Please don’t touch me.” She tried to swipe his hand from her hair, but in doing so, he grabbed her wrist. “Let go of me!”

“Or what?” With that, she started to cry and her bottom lip began to quiver. She’d always felt safe until then; never sensing the threat of Brian’s actions, or any guy’s action for that matter. Her mind raced. She wondered who could know where she was and could interrupt her terrorizing moment unfolding before her. No one. Ethan was in class. Jennifer was in class. And only by some miracle would anyone else come to her room at that very moment. At mid-afternoon, the dorms were usually quiet. “Don’t cry little princess. When it’s over you’ll thank me for turning you into a queen—finally! I know Ethan will thank me. As a matter of fact, you’ll probably dump him when I’m done with you. They all want what I got.” She slapped him hard across the face, and then struggled to free herself from his grip, but that only angered him and he instantly retaliated and threw her on the floor. Carmilita had always been a petite girl, so he was able to fling her down like a rag doll. When she screamed, he covered her face with a pillow. She screamed again, but no one heard.

The next time Carmilita opened her eyes, she saw Darius staring down at her. She was disoriented and light-headed; everything looked blurry and distorted.

“’Milita, can you hear me? ‘Milita, it’s me, Darius. Are you awake?” He couldn’t tell. She looked to be awake, but dazed, and she didn’t seem to know where she was or could make out his voice. “’Milita, it’s me. Can you here me?” Darius tried once again, but got no response. He picked up her tiny hand and squeezed it gently. “Please wake up.”

“Darius?” she finally responded in a quiet voice.

“Yes! It’s me. ‘Milita you’re safe; I’m with you now.”

“Where…?”

“You’re in the emergency room at Northwestern, but I’m right here.” He waited until she focused and could understand what he was telling her. “Dad and Natalya are on their way.”

“No! Oh please…don’t tell them what happened.”

“What did happen? Jennifer is here. She’s outside waiting to see you.”

“Jennifer?”

“Yes, do you want me to get her? She told me she went back to get her notebook and found you there with some boy and that you were already unconscious… That’s when she called 911. She called me after that. Did he do something to you? I swear I’ll kill him! What happened?”

“I don’t know.  I don’t remember anything after…oh thank God she didn’t call Daddy. He would have gone berserk! Wait! Darius, it was my mother!”

“Natalya? What do you mean?”

“No, my real mother!”

“’Milita, Natalya is your real mother.”

“No. She’s my surrogate; Princess was my real mother. She was there, Darius. I saw her. She spoke to me. Darius, what did the doctors say, anything?”

“They said you had a fainting spell; but other than that, you weren’t harmed. You have a bump on your elbow. ‘Milita, who was the guy?”

“Some jerk, Brian something! He was going to…you know...because I was a virgin.” She burst into tears, remembering the terrifying sequence of events. Darius pulled her into his chest and hugged her.

“It’s okay—it’s okay. It’s over. Do you think Jennifer interrupted?” He got choked up himself. He couldn’t imagine if she were violated, how it would have changed all their lives, especially Carmilita’s. “Are you okay?” Their bond had afforded them the ease of discussing anything openly—including sex. He knew she hadn’t yet experimented with sex and she never felt embarrassed talking to him about it.

“No. I’m scared. It was frightening.” Darius suddenly remembered the story about his mother being attacked and almost raped. He hated that he was only five then and couldn’t help his mother. He got a second chance—protecting his sister.

“’Milita, what do you mean my Mom was with you and that she spoke to you?”

“It’s true. She told me to remain brave and I would be okay. She told me she loved me and that I was her little girl. Darius, it’s not the first time.”

Darius didn’t know what to say in response, he listened instead of speaking. He held her and let her tell him how his mother’s spirit spoke to her in her time of crisis and how she believed his mother saved her by sending Jennifer. She had eluded to having some spiritual connection to his mother ever since she discovered Princess’ plan to pay a surrogate to carry a baby for her and Darius, using Sebastién’s sperm donation. That surrogate turned out to be Natalya, the love of Sebastién’s life. After Princess’ untimely death, Natalya and Sebastién raised Carmilita without ever telling her the truth, until Princess’ diary was found by Darius and read by Carmilita. From that point on, she felt an innate connection to Princess and secretly claimed her as her real mother.