RomantiCreations

Under the Cover of Darkness

Like us on Facebook!

Under the Cover of Darkness is my 7th novel and sequel to the captivating thriller, Under the Purple Moon. If you like what you see here, click the book cover to order, and also share with friends!

Read all the Reviews or write your own

One

Nolan Reynolds sat placidly in deep contemplation, with almost a wistful expression on his face, as he watched his beautiful wife, Tess Simóne, a renowned romance novelist and the love of his life, play with their sixteen-month old son, Tristen, under the warm California sun. He still couldn’t believe sometimes that this was his life now. He loved Tess more than he thought he could love any woman. She was beautiful, smart, sexy, and had a way of making him feel more confident than he’d ever felt in his life. They shared everything and had no secrets from each other—at least Nolan thought so—not anymore, anyway.
In the beginning of their relationship, that type of commitment felt foreign to him on some levels and difficult to accurately comprehend such intense feelings for Tess. He never needed anyone so personally and intimately before. But all he knew, since their wedding day, was that his life had just been made. Everything fell into place after that. She was truly the only woman for him. The birth of their son became the icing on the cake. He couldn’t ask for more or be happier with life’s gift to him. But those fond thoughts of his wife were never far from the memory of the terror that shook them to the core less than two years ago, no matter how hard he tried to suppress it and move on.

As Tess continued to help Tristen tackle the sand beneath his feet, Nolan let out a burst of laughter when his son squealed at feeling the warm, gritty matter between his toes for the first time as they frolicked on the beach. As the salty sea air wafted under Nolan’s nose, he was reminded of that precise moment three years ago, and a few weeks, when he met Tess for the first time on a beach in Northern California. She appeared like a vision to him when he found her sitting on a blanket with the sun rays beaming down on her while she worked on her laptop that fateful day. He became more intrigued with her, beyond her unpretentious beauty, when he learned she was a famous novelist. They wrote their own love story after that, although it wasn’t without plenty of drama and horrific moments. They were even separated for almost a year before reuniting, falling in love all over again, which forced Tess to acknowledge her deepest and darkest secret—Grant Sterling.

Nolan’s smile faded considerably when he flashed back to those daunting times. He wanted nothing more than to forget about Tess’ peculiar secret, but as much as he wished she could too, he knew that wasn’t possible. The pregnancy and then the birth of Tristen kept her busy—she had her hands full and her mind preoccupied most of the time. However, he made a conscious effort to not leave her alone at night, if at all possible, and never allowed her to go back to her haunted Napa house without him. If he had to leave on business overnight, he insisted that she stay with her best friend, Lisa James-Kent and her husband, Gregory Kent, in Marin County. But since the baby arrived, he hasn’t left Tess for any reason. He didn’t want to leave anything to chance.
“Did you see how much he loved the sand?” Tess asked in amazement as she sat down next to Nolan, holding Tristen protectively in her arms.
“He’s terrific and funny! I knew he would love the beach.” He gave his son a raspberry smooch on his belly. Tristen giggled when he patted Nolan’s face, then he jammed his fingers in Nolan’s mouth. Nolan pretended to bite his little fingers, which caused Tristen to giggle more. “I love you, little man.”
Tristen screamed, “Daddy!” His enthusiastic expression made Tess laugh as well.
“I love you, too, Tess.” Nolan looked particularly serious when he said it.
“And, I love you more,” she replied. He leaned over and kissed her softly at first, but then put his hands on her arms to hold her steady and kissed her with more purpose. “Mmm...what’s that for?”
“I’m so crazy about you, that’s all.” He turned away and looked out toward the ocean. “Tess, have you thought about having another baby?” he asked staring toward the horizon.
“Where did that come from?”
“Just wondering. I want you to be happy.” He focused on her dark brown eyes.
“I am happy. You make me stupendously happy, and Tristen is the joy of my life. What more do I need? Do you want another baby? I mean I’m surprised that you brought it up, and so soon.”
“I haven’t really thought about it until now. I dunno. I’m okay with whatever you want. I need you to know that.”
“I do know that, Nolan. You’ve given me so much already and I’m grateful for that. But, I’m okay with being an attentive mother to our one and only perfect son. I don’t want to get in over my head and not have enough time to give to you both, and our marriage. I think this is enough, for now.” She kissed her husband back with love in her heart for being so considerate and noble to her. She also thought of her work. Her writing meant everything to her, until Nolan and Tristen, but now she barely has time to write—being a fulltime mother and wife. The stolen moments here and there, or in the middle of the night when everyone else slept, were never enough time to feel as productive as she once had.
“It looks like the ocean air has taken another victim.” Nolan noticed Tristen nodding off in Tess’ arms.
“Are we ready to go or do you want to let him nap out here?” Tess cuddled her son closer to her body.
“Let’s head back. I have some paperwork waiting at home for me anyway.”
Tess knew Nolan revised his work schedule to stick closer to home and perhaps to keep an eye on her. He used to travel a lot on business when she met him, but now, suspiciously, those travel assignments seemed to have diminished. When she asked him about it months ago, he excused it away as not having the need to travel much anymore—that his projects didn’t warrant it. She took his word for it, but in the back of her mind, she wondered if he didn’t stretch the truth a bit. She knew she put him through hell with her special circumstances out at her house in Napa Valley, but she became weighted with guilt when she thought that he might be staying close to home on her account. She knew how much he loved his career and how indispensable he was to the company—the most prestigious architectural firm in San Francisco, which meant he had to travel a great deal for them and, in return, they rewarded him handsomely for it.

Tess didn’t realize she had a scowl across her forehead as they drove back to their upscale San Mateo County home with a million-dollar view. She seemed in serious contemplation as she stared out the window, being particularly quiet and yet staring at nothing in particular. Nolan watched her from time to time trying to figure out what might be going through her mind. He stared at her attractiveness: her natural golden bronze skin color, which set off her firm, shapely legs and toned arms, especially her biceps, which showed more definition since Tristen was born. Her aesthetic aura still took his breath away whenever she walked into a room unexpectedly. She maintained her petite figure, which she was thankful for after giving birth. He loved to scoop her up into his arms and carry her to their enormous bed. Being romantic with her came natural to him, which surprised him, even today, since he wasn’t that way before they met. The only true love in his life before Tess was his Corvette—his favorite, the Z06. Then Tess became his number one love, along with his son. Nothing or no one was more important to him.
“Whatcha thinking?” He gently touched her hand.
“Hmm? What? Uh, nothing.”
“You want to try again? What were you thinking?” Tess smiled at his attempt to get her to open up. She figured her serious countenance must have given her away. She also didn’t realize how deep in thought she actually was.
“You’re being paranoid. I wasn’t really thinking anything. Just looking out at the water.”
“Tess, we haven’t been driving near the coast for ten minutes now.” He smiled at her. She looked out the window again and noticed the urban scenery and smirked.
“Nolan, relax. I’m not thinking anything in particular. What do you want to do for dinner?”
“Nice try. Fine, if you don’t want to tell me, don’t. You kinda looked serious and I was curious. But I can take a hint.” He backed off with his inquisition, but not from his curiosity.
Tess smiled at him, kissed his hand, and then squeezed it, letting him know she appreciated his concern. She replaced his hand back on her leg. She had a gem of a husband and she knew it. No one treated her with kid gloves the way he did—not even her adopted parents, who were absolutely wonderful to her. She glanced back over her shoulder to check on Tristen and smiled seeing him sound asleep and looking extremely peaceful. She couldn’t help wonder what she did to deserve such a perfect baby and doting husband.

For the remainder of the ride home, Tess tried to keep her head clear of serious clutter to enjoy the scenery, while making sporadic small talk with Nolan. She wanted to call her best friend, Lisa, when she got home, provided Tristen would allow her the quiet time to do so. She also hoped to get in some writing after Tristen and Nolan retired for the evening. She chuckled to herself at the thought of actually getting some time alone to write. Since having the baby, Tess found that her optimum writing hours were quickly replaced with baby time. And when Tristen napped, Tess usually napped with him since she did most of her writing now in the middle of the night when everyone else slept and the house was quiet. Nolan objected to her staying awake all night to write, but once he fell asleep, she tiptoed out of the room and he wouldn’t know. But several times he discovered her writing in her office when he didn’t feel her warm body next to him in bed. Her absence made him panic, thinking something was wrong. Since Tristen was born, they both became light sleepers, so if she wanted to work during the night, she had to limit herself to about three to four hours in order to keep him from worrying about her. Sometimes his overly protective nature made her forget that he was nine years her junior.

When she turned forty in the spring, it was the only time since they’ve been married that she was reminded of their age difference. Tess had a young spirit and zest for life, therefore, her age had never been an issue for her. She struggled with the age difference for a short while when she met Nolan, but once he proved to her how much he wanted her in his life, and loved her unconditionally, she no longer thought of that being a deterrent. Nor the fact that she was biracial—her biological mother, White and her biological father, Black—and he was White. Nolan never saw her race as an obstacle from the instant he laid eyes on her. He only saw a beautiful, special woman with great legs and alluring eyes that danced when she laughed. He knew the second he spotted her that he had to have her in his life—permanently. Actually, he was surprised by her age, because she didn’t look it. She could easily pass as ten years younger. And her friends, Lisa and Gregory, didn’t know any two people more perfectly matched for each other than Tess and Nolan. Their relationship blossomed, based on respect, patience, and an abundance of love. And, soon that love overflowed to their son.

Before dinner, Tristen didn’t give his mother the down time she thought she could get, but she certainly didn’t complain. Her son took priority over everything, including her writing and Tess wouldn’t dream of denying him a moment of her attention. She initially felt some trepidation when she first learned of her pregnancy, but after giving birth to Tristen, all worries went out the window and her instincts kicked in. She embraced motherhood and accepted the challenges with joy. The most endearing moment for her during the delivery came knowing that Nolan shared the same enthusiasm and anticipation as she did for the birth of their first child. She even got over the idea of having a natural birth. Lisa, being a nurse, eased her mind about having an epidural for the pain, but Tess wanted to try it naturally. She prepared for weeks prior to the birth and wanted to call upon her bravery to get her through the delivery. She almost gave in at one difficult point, but Nolan’s presence and attentive nature kept her focused and committed to labor through the pain. He thought she displayed incredible bravery, and praised her continuously while he worked diligently at keeping her comfortable. When it was all said and done, she knew in her heart that she couldn’t have done it as easily if it weren’t for her supportive husband. They were both exhausted after the ten-hour event, but never more excited and proud—of each other. Tristen was born with a head full of sandy brown hair, lighter than his mother’s dark curls, and barely darker than Nolan’s blonde hair. His eyes eventually took on a hazel shade of green, and he had his father’s dimples and smile. He was a gorgeous baby. After all, his mother possessed beautiful, delicate features and his father was a cross between sexy actor, Jason Lewis and singer, Jon Bon Jovi, as Tess remarked from time to time teasing him. Nolan’s slightly wavy hair fell right above his shoulders and he wore it at one length. As Tristen got older, Tess thought he favored Nolan more than her, which made her smile.
She also felt blessed to have a happy baby. Tristen gave them no problems and was turning into an easy-going toddler. As an infant, he typically cried when he needed to eat or be changed. Other than that, he rarely fussed, except when he teethed or got sick. He certainly inherited his parents’ calm demeanor. Only once did she reflect back on her childhood and wondered if Tristen would encounter some of the same challenges and prejudices as she endured because of her multi- cultural background. But as she looked at her son, his skin was fairer than hers and his coloring, lighter. She’d always teased that he was his father’s child without a doubt and that she basically contributed none of her genes. That wasn’t true, of course. Tristen inherited the distinct combination of both his parents’ genes, and Tess especially instilled love and a sense of family in him from his first day on earth. She didn’t have that in her developmental years; not until she was adopted at age six. She didn’t want her son to ever feel rejected or unloved.

Nolan never let on to Tess how nervous he had been, up to the moment Tristen emerged from her womb. He certainly never forgot about the night his son was conceived—hearing Tess being seduced by Grant only moments after they, themselves, were together intimately, and for the first time. He hadn’t felt more devastated and betrayed in his life. He thought he would die right there. Ever since the announcement of Tess’ pregnancy, Nolan couldn’t ward off the suspicious feelings about what happened between her and Grant, even though she tried to convince him that only he could be her baby’s father. He had no previous experience with any of that “freaky shit,” as he called it, but he tried with everything he had in him to trust her and believe everything she told him. However, he still struggled in the back of his mind about her safety and freedom from Grant. But he’s not convinced enough to leave her alone at night, even though they were nowhere near her Napa home. He wanted her to sell the house, like she originally planned; instead she kept it as a vacation rental. There was something about her home, it meant something special to her from the moment she found it and she couldn’t bring herself to part with it. He continued to persuade her to get rid of it, but he also knew how much she loved her home, and she promised him she would never go out there alone. He saw to that by never leaving her alone overnight—not even for his job.

After dinner, Nolan helped bathe Tristen and get him ready for bed. He enjoyed being part of Tristen’s daily care and development. He wouldn’t give up the craziness and occasional sleepless nights for anything. Like Tess, his son meant more to him than he ever imagined. Every time he looked seriously at their precious miracle and realized he was responsible, he got choked up. He wanted nothing but the best for his son, and he and Tess were the parents who could give him everything— especially protection.

Upon finishing their work for the evening and getting Tristen settled in his bed, they finally collapsed into their own bed. Nolan gently nestled Tess’ body into his body. She sighed from exhaustion and, while facing away from him, whispered, “I love you.” He kissed the back of her head, brushing her soft curls away from her neck. He nuzzled his face against the nape of her head and began nibbling behind her ear. She moaned softly, but was quickly succumbing to her exhaustion. Nolan thought he would pass out the second his head hit the pillow, but being so close to Tess’ body could always revive his sexual drive for her. “Baby, I thought you were tired,” she whispered with her eyes closed.
“Not that tired. You turn me on, girl. Five minutes this time, I promise.”
“You said that last time, and an hour later...”
“Can I help it if we have such undeniable chemistry?” He turned her over on her back. She kept her eyes closed and pretended to be asleep. “Pleeeease...you know you want it, too.” A sheepish smile swept across her face. He kissed her lips and she wrapped her arms around him. They both began to squirm under the sheets, as he raised himself level to her.
“You win. And, you’re right; you’re irresistible, and I love you.”
“I love you more, babe.” Their lips met and they made love for the next thirty minutes before rolling over, winded and spent.
“Sweet dreams, babe,” said Nolan through a yawn. Tess only groaned. As she fell asleep, she knew his plan was to tire her out completely so she would sleep through the night and not get up to write. He didn’t like it when she left their bed—it made him nervous. And, she didn’t let on that she knew what he was doing by his tactics. She couldn’t complain, though, because she loved the way he made love to her and sleeping next to him felt heavenly.

Nolan drifted off thinking about the last thirty explosive minutes and every single time they made love in the past. Each time was special to him because he felt grateful to have her that way, especially. He couldn’t forget when she was unable to make love to him because Grant nearly destroyed her emotionally and physically. So, he cherished every time he touched her body and felt the magical charge between them like the Fourth of July.

Two

The next morning ushered in a host of distractions for Tess, beginning with Nolan tugging at her to stay in bed with him a little longer. It was Sunday and he wanted to sleep in and have some more quality time with her. Once she got up, he knew it would be impossible to get her all to himself. Because she slept through the night, Tess needed to get in a few hours of writing before Tristen awoke. It was already five-thirty in the morning and her window of opportunity was quickly closing. But as she squirmed out of Nolan’s tired grasp, she heard her son’s morning wake-up call—two hours earlier than normal. She now had a crying, wet, and hungry baby, an attention-starved husband, and a splitting headache to contend with. Her morning certainly started out much differently than her day ended.
“Crap!” Tess placed her hand on her forehead.
“Hmm...what is it Tess?” Nolan barely had his eyes opened when he turned over to address her.
“Nothing; go back to sleep.” But instead, he sat up and became more alert. She had a strange look on her face at the moment, like she wanted to say more, but changed her mind.
“What is it, babe?”
“It’s nothing. I mean, our son’s crying, my head is splitting, I’m behind on my work—I’m supposed to have two chapters finished by now if I’m going to make my deadline, and I promised to watch Lisa’s baby this afternoon.”
“I’ll get Tristen. What can I get you for your head?”
“I appreciate that, but this is your weekend—your day off. You work hard and deserve this time off. I’ll handle it.”
“Tess, you never take a day off. You’re with Tristen everyday and you write everyday. You need time off, too. I can help you watch Courtney and Tristen this afternoon.”
“I know you brought work home this weekend. What’s going on with that? This isn’t the first weekend you’ve brought work home and spent hours working on top of your fourteen- and sixteen-hour days.”
“Tess, baby, it’s nothing to get all worked up over. It’s only a little work. I can help you around here as well.”
“It’s not the lack of help. You’ve been terrific. You work too hard.”
“Look at you. You haven’t stopped writing since Tristen was born— since I’ve met you, actually. And, I, like a fool, asked you if you wanted another baby. What was I thinking?”
“No, it’s not that. I’m not quite ready to split my time with Tristen. He needs lots of attention and I want to give it to him. And speaking of him, he’s beckoning.”
“I’ll go.” Nolan started to get up. “Nolan, I said I’ll get him.” “I’m only trying to help out.” “Yeah, I know! You do everything, you’re absolutely wonderful, and
you’re perfect to me!” Her sharp tone startled him. “What’s the matter with you?” “Nothing, it’s just that...nothing.” She got up and left the room.
Nolan looked confused. He glanced at the clock and realized it was only five forty-five in the morning. Tess looked weary and now upset. He got up and staggered to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Ten minutes later Nolan found Tess in the kitchen trying to soothe Tristen while feeding him a warm bowl of oatmeal. He appeared more fussy than usual. Nolan stood in the doorway for a few minutes just watching her. She looked so motherly and tender with their son. No doubt that she loved being a mother. He felt content admiring her, but he could tell something was bothering her.
“Hey, why are you staring at me?” She looked up to see him standing bare-chested in only his pajama bottoms. She always admired his physique.
“You’re beautiful.” Her hair was disheveled, she had no makeup on, and she was wrapped in a robe two sizes too big for her petite frame.
“I look like crap, I’m sure.”
“You look perfect,” he admired as he went over to her and opened her robe to expose her nakedness underneath. He leaned down and kissed her right breast. “How’s Tristen?” he asked has he continued to kiss the other breast.
“He’s fussy for some reason. He’s dry and he’s eating his breakfast, but he’s still cranky. Stop that!” She giggled playfully at what Nolan was doing to her.
“Maybe because he woke up too early. He’s probably still sleepy. How ‘bout we see if he can go back to sleep?” he suggested, clearly with ulterior motives.
“Yes, he did wake up too soon, but I doubt that he’ll go back down now.”
“I’d like to go back down now.”
“Nolan, you’re not helping, you know.”
“But I am here to help.” He stopped messing with her and looked seriously at her. “How’s your headache?”
“Like my head’s in a vise. Why are you up? Why don’t you go back to bed? I’m managing.” She had that weird, far off look again, like she had something important on her mind.
“Tess, what’s going on? And, don’t say nothing. You can’t fool me.”
“Nolan, why aren’t you traveling anymore?” She looked up from her feeding task to confront him.
“What? What do you mean?”
“I know about the trips. When I called your office last week, I spoke with Kevin briefly and he mentioned something about you turning down the travel assignments, and that your boss is pissed off. He thinks that’s why you’re getting all the paperwork projects. You’re stuck with paperwork and it’s hurting your career. You’re a brilliant architectural engineer, and you worked hard to get the big projects that usually take you on site. Why are you doing this crap work?”
“Kevin doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You shouldn’t have to concern yourself with the details of my work. I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. Everything’s fine there.” Nolan walked past her and Tristen and grabbed some orange juice from the refrigerator. He kissed her on her cheek, and then abruptly left the room. Tristen continued to whine through his breakfast.

Tess noticed the change in Nolan’s demeanor when she brought up his job. She knew he wasn’t telling her the whole truth, and Kevin could always be trusted as Nolan’s confidante and loyal co-worker. They followed each other’s careers since college—ending up at the same firm. Kevin worked as hard as Nolan, and would never tell Tess anything other than the truth. He had a tremendous amount of respect for Nolan and his work, and she knew that. Nolan often spoke highly of Kevin as well. She thought it odd that he would insinuate that Kevin was mistaken. She heard a great deal of concern in Kevin’s voice that day and he worried about Nolan’s future as the company’s senior engineer, who was now confined to drafting, space planning, and checking blueprints and building plans.
Tess carried Tristen with her, back to the bedroom, where she found Nolan lying in bed starring up at the ceiling with one arm behind his head, the other hand holding a small container of orange juice.
“Hey,” she spoke softly. “Can we talk about it?”
“About what?” He continued to stare at the ceiling, and then took a swallow of the juice.
“Your job.”
“Tess, I already told you that there’s nothing to discuss—everything’s fine. Just drop it.” He sat up. “And, what about your job? When are you going to take a break? We’re doing okay, money-wise. Why do you need to write so much?”
“It’s my career. And, I love writing. I have a commitment and a contract. I don’t get to do it as much as I like these days. Why do you ask?”
“I see you juggling so much, now with Tristen, and you don’t stop. You’re wearing yourself out.” Tess didn’t know where Nolan was going with all that, but she suddenly became uneasy talking about her career. Especially when she knew she wanted to bring up something she felt was important to her.
“Nolan, about that...” she paused, waiting for the right words to come.
“What is it?” He saw that look on her face again and he could tell she wasn’t about to agree to take some time off.
“I was talking to my editor and we think, well I think, I want to tour again...soon. It’s been...”
“What? You just had a baby!”
“Geez Nolan, Tristen is sixteen months. I didn’t just have him. I didn’t tour the whole time I was pregnant and after he was born. He’s almost a year and a half!”
“Why do you need to tour? Your books are doing fine—great, actually.”
“It’s more than the sales; it’s what I like to do. I feel I owe it to my readers. And, I love to meet them and sign their books. I need to stay in touch with them. I also need to go to New York to see Sasha and personally discuss my latest project. The trip is way overdue. I would suggest that you and Tristen come with me, but because he’s been so irritable lately, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“I forbid you to go!” Nolan’s remark flew right out of his mouth before he had a chance to catch himself. The words “New York” and the fact that she’d be going without him rattled him. She surprised him with her announcement. His first thought was that of Jackson, her close friend. He knew about their friendship and, even though Tess never put it in so many words, figured out that they had a “special” relationship and bond. She never wanted to lie to him, but she also didn’t want to share too much knowing how Nolan would react to her spending time with Jackson now that they were married. She knew that she had to create certain boundaries with Jackson, with Nolan in her life now, and she didn’t mind because she loved her husband. But, Nolan’s unrelenting protection of Tess has increased his worry of losing her, which was compromising his unconditional love for her. Somewhere in the back of his mind, his love was becoming conditional. Tristen began to get fussy again.
“Excuse me? Are you serious? You forbid me to go to New York?”
“Uh, yes. I do. You have enough going on right here. You’re still writing and taking interviews, I just don’t think Tristen is ready for you to leave him for a period of time, especially now.”
“Tristen will be fine without me for a few days. I think it’s you. You’re still not willing to let me out of your sight.”
“This isn’t about me—I’m concerned about you.”
“That’s it, isn’t it? You’re still hung up on the past! I’m fine, Nolan. When are you going to believe that?”
“Why are we talking about that?”
“Admit it! You’re scared something will happen to me. Is that why you, yourself, won’t travel anymore? And, I hope you’re not jealous of Jackson because I want to go to New York.”
“Enough! I don’t want you to go and that’s final!”
“Wait a minute. Is that why you want me to have another baby so I can be chained to this house? You knew the day would come when I would want to go back out on tour. Is that true?”
“Tess, I said that’s enough. You think what you want. I’m thinking of our son and also what’s best for you.” By that time, Tristen was getting restless and difficult to handle, validating her reasons for not taking him anywhere at that particular time. Nolan took him from Tess and left the room.
Tess stood in the same spot trying to make sense of their conversation, or what now appeared more of an impasse of some sort. She thought Nolan had moved passed all that, and the fact that she no longer lived in her Napa house should have put him at ease. Apparently not. And, she didn’t know what to think if he was trying to keep her away from Jackson. She thought he was being ridiculous. She took a deep breath and headed toward the bathroom to take a shower.
Two hours later, Nolan finally got Tristen quieted and back to bed. He couldn’t understand his son’s unruly disposition. He had never been that difficult for no apparent reason. He made a mental note to check on him in a little while. He retreated to his home office to tackle his tedious paperwork. Tess was right; Nolan was drowning in paperwork and felt stifled by the direction in which his career has taken. His request to stick closer to home didn’t win over his boss and now he was paying the ultimate price for it. For the first time in his career, he hated his job and felt left out of all the enormous opportunities that would reward him financially, not to mention boost his career. He also thought about what Tess suspected. She was right. He didn’t feel comfortable leaving her alone overnight, for any amount of time. What happened to her before scared him, and he almost lost his son because of it. It was bad enough she lost Tristen’s twin. Even though they were pretty certain that Grant could no longer pose a threat to her now, he still wasn’t one hundred percent convinced that he was ready to take chances. But, he also knew he couldn’t keep her a prisoner forever either. They both had rewarding careers and a staunch relationship, unbreakable by any external force; perhaps he needed to test the waters, which meant conceding to her relationship with Jackson as well. He still didn’t like the thought of letting her out of his sight though.

Tess tried to get some writing done in her office, but the constant distraction of their morning conversation kept invading and distorting her creative thoughts. With the pregnancy, the wedding, getting settled in their house, the birth, and now the childcare, they haven’t so much as taken a vacation since they were in Hawaii for Lisa’s wedding. They still owed themselves a proper honeymoon. She didn’t want to leave Tristen for any amount of time, but she wasn’t used to not traveling or feeling productive toward her career. She desperately needed to travel for research, if nothing else. She wondered how long Nolan had planned to keep her locked up at home—and him, as well. She looked up from her blank computer screen to see Nolan standing in the doorway.
“Hi,” he said. “Hi. What are you doing?” “Come here.” Tess got up and went to him. He put his arms around her in a gentle fashion, pulling her into his six-foot lean frame and holding her. She felt dwarfed by him, since she only stood five feet, five inches. She leaned her head against his chest and listened to his heart beat. He kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry. I hate it when we fight. I don’t want to tell you what to do—that’s not me.”
“I understand.” “No, it’s wrong. I overreacted. I’m not ready...” “It’s okay. We’re all okay now, and safe. It’s been over two years, Nolan.” He knew what she was referring to and he took a deep breath. His skin seemed to stiffen when talking about it. “I want to travel again. It’s for my work. I’ll be okay. And, I think you should do the same. I know you want to and it’s the right thing to do for your job. And there’ll be times when we can all travel together.” Nolan nodded his head and let out a long sigh. She looked up at him and saw how worried he looked. She pulled him by the hand and led him back to their bed.

Once they were undressed and under the covers, Tess aggressively, and without hesitation, took control and seduced her husband into a mid-morning, love-making session that lasted only until they were interrupted by the sound of their son crying. With perspiration trickling off their bodies, and disheveled hair, they smiled at each other and shared a long passionate kiss before breaking the seal they created when their bodies joined as one.
“I love you, Tess. And, I support you and your decision. I realize that I can’t smother you and keep you in a vacuum.”
“We both need to do this. It’s not forever. We’ll take little steps for now.” She smiled at him. “I love you more. And, thank you.”

Three

Tess spent the remainder of her day babysitting Lisa’s baby girl, Courtney. Nolan wanted to spend at least a couple of hours cleaning and driving his car, since he’d ignored it for nearly a month. When he thought everything was under control at home, he took off, but promised to return shortly. Tess sent him off with her blessing and told him not to rush back. She knew how involved he got with the car and wanted him to have that down time for himself.
Lisa returned to Tess’ house around seven o’clock to pick up Courtney. The two women got a rare opportunity to visit privately in person for a little while, which they hadn’t been able to do in a long time, due to the joys of motherhood. Courtney was only six months old and kept Lisa busy around the clock since the day she was born. She was an active baby.
“So, what’s new these days?” inquired Lisa as she took Courtney from Tess’ arms.
“Oh, pretty much the same ol’ thing. I’m falling way behind on my writing schedule. Tristen learned a new word, ‘Corvette’.” They both laughed. “He’s his father’s son, alright. And, if Nolan buys him one more toy Corvette car, we’re going to have to get a bigger house!”
“He’s an amazing father.”
“Yes, he is. I can’t get over how good he is with him. How’s Gregory doing in his new daddy role?”
“Oh, now that’s a sight. He’s still a little awkward at some things, but he especially loves holding Courtney and rocking her to sleep. That’s his thing. She’s a handful when she’s alert, though, as you know. And he’s not quite sure what to do with her.”
“Yes, she is. Tristen was really mellow at her age. And, he still is for the most part. But lately, he’s been fussy for no apparent reason. I thought he was having a bad day when it started, but it seems to happen a little more frequently and I don’t know what to think.”
“It’s probably growing pains. I wouldn’t worry too much. But if it’ll ease your mind, you should talk to his pediatrician about it.”
“Yeah, you’re probably right. I’ll monitor him right now. But I hope he grows out of it before I start traveling again.”
“What? Really... When did you decide this?”
“Well, ‘we’ talked about it this morning and Nolan’s going to let me travel again.”
“Let you. I didn’t know he had to let you.”
“Tell me about it. I’ve been so patient with everything and haven’t brought it up—trying to give him some time to get over all that Grant stuff, but when I brought up the fact that I wanted to travel alone on tour again, he flipped out and forbade me to go. He was so terrified, but it came across as anger. I knew better. He later apologized when he realized he didn’t mean to tell me what to do. I understood his concerns and allowed him to cool off. But after we talked about it, he relented and gave me his blessing to travel.”
“Wow, that worked out pretty good. You guys don’t have normal fights like the rest of the world.” Lisa laughed. “But, that’s because of your age difference I suspect.”
“I wouldn’t really say that. We mostly agree on everything, so there’s no need to argue. And, once he figured that he was hurting me and himself, he gave in. I told him I wasn’t going to go travel-crazy; I would take it slow and start out easy.”
“So, have you planned your first trip yet?”
“Well, for starters I want to go to New York City to see my editor and attend a conference at the same time. That will be an easy trip.”
“Sounds sensible. Can Nolan and Tristen go with you?”
“I wish they could, but Nolan’s been drowning in paperwork and I don’t want to take Tristen. He’s been real fidgety and fussy lately. I don’t think it’s a good idea to put him on a plane right now, or be stuck so far away from home with him going through this stage—whatever it is.”
“I can watch him and you and Nolan can go.”
“Thanks, but Nolan’s got parental duty this time, plus he’s got work he brings home that he has to complete. I’ll only be gone for a weekend and I think he and Tristen will be fine. I’m also hoping Nolan will get back into traveling with his job. He stopped because of me and he’s losing out on some key opportunities.”
“Really? I had no idea.”
“Yeah, he didn’t think I did either, but I found out that he’s been turning down traveling because of me—he doesn’t want to leave me.”
“He’s so protective of you. It’s kinda sweet.”
“Yeah, to a fault in a way. I don’t want to see him get screwed out of something big at work because he’s paranoid.”
“Tess, do you really think you’re ready...I mean, to spend time on your own?”
“Oh no, not you, too.”
“Well, I’m just saying I know where Nolan’s coming from and you can’t blame him.”
“I don’t blame him, but I can’t be sheltered my whole life. That part of it is over and now I have to get back to my routine. I’m safe now. It’s been over for two years.”
“Okay. You’re probably right. Hey, I better get out of here. Kent’s probably wondering where I am. He should be home by now. Thanks for watching Courtney. I’ll return the favor anytime.” Tess still thought it was cute that Lisa called her husband by his last name. It was a habit from the time she met him at the hospital, working as a nurse and called him Dr. Kent. Once they started dating, she dropped the “Dr.” and began calling him Kent. They were definitely suitable for each other because their personalities were opposite. Lisa pretty much didn’t care what anyone thought, and Gregory was a serious doctor who came across more reserved. Lisa always felt sure of her feelings for him, but it took Gregory a little longer to figure out his. But now neither could live without the other. They complimented each other perfectly.
“I’ll hold you to that favor.” They laughed and hugged good-bye. “Drive carefully. Give my love to Gregory.”

♥♥♥

Nolan washed and waxed his car, then took it out for a quick drive on Highway 1. It was Sunday, so he ran into more traffic than he would have during the week along the coast, but that didn’t stop him from opening the car up a couple of times and making several safe passing maneuvers. But it still felt great driving his Corvette on the heavily traveled coastal roads that hugged the Pacific Ocean. He became self-absorbed in the clear afternoon vista and the comfort of the car when he noticed the time. He had only gotten as far as Santa Cruz when he got a glimpse of sunset approaching, so he immediately turned the car around and headed back. His only thought was to get back to Tess. Then he realized that he needed to stop being so paranoid, like she said. She’ll be traveling soon and he won’t be able to watch her every time it got dark. He convinced himself that she was safe now, and he relaxed his body and enjoyed the ride back.
By mid-week, Tess had made arrangement to fly to New York for the upcoming weekend.
“So soon? Why so suddenly?”
“Nolan, we talked about this. It’s not a big deal; it’s just a weekend trip. I’ll be back before you know it. You’ll be so involved with Tristen that you’ll hardly notice that I’m gone.”
“Doubtful, but nice try.”
“C’mon baby, it’s two measly days. I leave Friday morning and will be back Sunday afternoon.”
“That’s three days!” “It’ll go by fast! I promise.” “All right, all right. You win.” “Yes, I do win. I won the best husband in the world.” She kissed him
on that note. “So, what are you and Tristen going to do while I’m gone?”
“Oh, I’m sure we’ll think of something.” “Yeah, well don’t take him out in that Vette!”
“He needs to get behind the wheel and take a test drive with his old
man.”
“I mean it, Nolan, it’s too dangerous for him. There’s no backseat.”
“It has seatbelts.” He teased.
“I’m serious!” she scolded, rolling her eyes.
“I’m kidding. We’ll do some ‘man’ stuff and hang out. Maybe invite some strippers over.”
“Fine, as long as you clean up after they leave.” They joked for a few moments. “Nolan, does this mean you’ll consider traveling again, too? I mean, I think you should seriously consider what’s best for your career. I don’t want to hold you back.”
“You’re not holding me back, so get that ridiculous thought out of your pretty little head.” He paused. “But, yes, I have given it some thought and... I’ll see.”
“Good. You’re great at what you do and I know how much you love your job. You should be taking on the best projects even if it means traveling some.”
“Enough talk about work. Get over here!” He grabbed her rear end, yanked her body into his and wrapped her completely in his arms. “And, no one gets anywhere near this!” He patted her butt.
“Will you miss me?”
“Of course I’ll miss you. I love you, girl.” He kissed her lips.
“I’ll miss you more,” she replied. And in an instant he scooped her up into his arms and carried her to bed. They made love that night and the next night with shared passion and desperation, but at a much slower, steadier pace than usual—like moving in slow motion. They savored every sensual moment and exchange between them, as they fell more in love with each other with each gradual, yet forceful, grind of their bodies.

♥♥♥

Tess arrived in New York Friday night and was met at the airport by her close, long-time friend, Jackson Geary. She didn’t expect him to meet her there, but when she alerted him of her visit to New York, he couldn’t wait to see her again. It had been over two years since they last saw each other—one infamous night at Tess’ Napa villa, when he helped her during her recuperation after she was shot by Nolan’s ex-girlfriend. The last thing he remembered of that visit had been the night she was sexually abused in her bedroom while he had left her alone to make a quick grocery run for eggs. When he returned he found her lying unconscious in her bed, naked. After he got her safely to the hospital, he had been accused of sexual battery against her, which caused him to react in a fit of rage in the middle of the ER! He had always loved Tess and would never dream of hurting her in any way. Lisa came to his rescue and cleared his name of all accusations, but she forced him to leave Tess’ house immediately. Tess never fully explained to him the situation that happened in her house that night, but he knew she would when she felt the time was right. Jackson had never met Nolan, but naturally he had his doubts about who this guy was that she met on the beach one day, and subsequently ended up on her dedication page of her novel. Tess eventually told Jackson about Nolan, after she and Nolan reunited, and she announced her engagement to him. She tried to convince him that he had nothing to do with the scene at her house, but Jackson harbored his own theory—having nothing else to go on. He was also crushed that she chose Nolan over him.
After their warm embrace at the airport, Jackson escorted her to her hotel in Midtown Manhattan.
“You look fantastic, Tess!” He admired her as they stood hugging again in her hotel room.
“God, I have five hours of cabin air and filth on me.”
“C’mon, first class couldn’t be that bad.” They both laughed.
“Seriously, you look amazing! How have you been? It’s so good to see you again!”
“I’m good. You’re looking pretty great yourself.” Jackson was an attractive man with prominent features and a tall frame. For a man of fifty-one years, he kept himself in fairly good shape. Living in a big city helped. He walked a lot and was constantly on the go. His hair was transitioning from dark brown to an even mix of silvery gray, which looked distinguished on him. He also sported a thin mustache and a well- groomed beard, which also showed hints of gray. He typically donned a designer suit—double-breasted—unless one caught him working out in his neighborhood gym or running in the park. Outside of those activities, Jackson was strictly business, as owner of his own publishing company. Foremost, though, he portrayed a gentleman and quite the ladies’ man— rarely experiencing a lonely moment.
“I do my best. So, how’s married life?”
“Wonderful. My son is almost a year and a half! And, he’s so smart and funny.” Tess usually steered the conversation away from Nolan, knowing how much Jackson still secretly loved her. She loved him, too, in a platonic way, never allowing herself to fall “in love” with him because of the distance between them. She didn’t want to leave California and she knew he would never leave Manhattan. Other than that, she had been tempted on many occasions to explore more with him. They had shared several intimate moments in the past when she traveled to New York, but they kept their private trysts discreet. Jackson held out hope for a relationship with her until she shocked him with the news of her engagement, then marriage, to Nolan. The most startling news was that of her pregnancy. It happened all at once and he barely had time to digest the marriage news. But because he loved her, he respectfully wished her the best. He sat watching her as she talked endlessly about Tristen. One could see the love in his eyes longing for her as he hung onto every word.

After their reunion over a late dinner, Jackson returned Tess safe and sound back at her hotel room at the Four Seasons. She invited him in for a nightcap while they continued to catch up with the latest in the publishing world. Being in the same business afforded them plenty to talk about and share. Time ticked on as it approached midnight and Tess began to yawn. She also remembered that she wanted to talk to her husband and her son before Tristen’s bedtime, but may have missed her window. Tristen would surely be asleep by now. She began to feel the effects of the long flight and yawned again.
“I should leave you to your privacy. It’s getting late.
“It must be the flight; I’m really tired all of a sudden. I shouldn’t be, since it’s only nine in California.”
“Can we have dinner tomorrow night?” They both stood up.
“I don’t see why not. I should be free after six. Wait! Let me first see what Sasha has on her agenda. We have a lot of details and planning to go over before I have to head back on Sunday.” Jackson moved in closer to her, and she suddenly felt awkward. He reached out to hug her and she extended her arms to receive his hug. While they were embraced, he took a subtle whiff of her hair. Tess noticed.
“Jackson...uh...”
“Sleep tight. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” He kissed her on her cheek and rubbed her hands. She saw him out then slowly closed the door. She stood on the inside of the door for a minute, thinking about her evening with her special friend. She felt she had hurt him by her rejection via her marriage and thought she should have at least warned him that she had feelings for Nolan earlier than when it all came out. She had known Jackson since she began her writing career, and although he’d been in and out of relationships, she knew he ultimately desired her. She didn’t think seeing him again would be so hard now that she’d gotten married, but it was. She felt guilty for some reason. She put Jackson out of her head and phoned home.
“Hi babe, how’s it going? Is my son asleep?”
“Hi! Yeah, he is—sorry. I finally got him down about a half-hour ago.

He had a bad day again.” “Really? I don’t understand it. What happened this time?”
“He wouldn’t take his nap because he kept whining to be held. He’s been cranky all day. It’s crazy. I didn’t know what to do for him.”
“Does he have a fever or the sniffles?”
“No, I checked. I tried everything. He didn’t seem to have much of an appetite either.”
“I wonder what’s going on with him. Do you think he’s not feeling well, like an earache? He’s never been like this before, even as an infant. I’m beginning to worry.”
“He seems fine, health-wise. Maybe it’s a toddler thing. He’s letting us know he’s not a baby anymore. Or maybe he’s becoming rebellious about nap time, or that ridiculously confining car seat, and potty training.”
“Great, my mild-mannered baby is going to become a sleep-deprived biker, with tattoos and body piercings, and going around peeing in his pants. Oh the humanity!” They both laughed. “I miss you.”
“I miss you more. When are you coming home? I’m horny.”
“You’re always horny, but I like it. I’ll call you tomorrow in-between conferences, meetings and meals.”
“I’m glad you’re doing this. You sound happy.”
“I am happy—thanks to you. I love you.”
“I love you, too. See you soon.” He started to ask about Jackson, but held his tongue. He didn’t want to upset her and come across as a jealous husband. He wanted her to have her freedom to do her job. He trusted her. Instead he hung up in silence. Tess thought about telling him about her innocent and casual dinner with Jackson, but decided against it. She didn’t want to get him riled up over nothing. Instead she kept her dinner date under wraps. When they ended the call, she took a soothing bath and retired to bed.

♥♥♥

Before she drifted off, her cell phone rang. “Hello.”
“Tess, this is Max, how are you?” Max was Tess’ real estate agent.
“Max, yes, I’m fine. How are you?”
“I’m fine; did I catch you at a bad time?”
“No, uh, well, I’m in New York and I was just about to go to sleep.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay, what’s up?”
“It’s your Napa house. I wish this could wait, but we’re renting it out
next weekend, remember, and I need to know if you’d be able to meet the contractor out there to sign-off on the repairs made to the second bathroom. He’s going to be there on Thursday. The guests are expected on Friday. I’m sorry for the tight schedule, but the guy is on another job in the South Bay and can’t get back up to Napa until Thursday. And, it has to meet your approval before the guests arrive.”
“Right, right. I almost forgot about that. Uh...”
“Is there a problem? Can you do it or should I reschedule the couple?”
“No, no, don’t do that. There’s no problem; we’ll meet him out there. Thursday is fine. Thanks for letting me know.”
“Great! I’ll confirm the weekend with the couple renting the place and I’ll talk to you in a few days. Good night, Tess.” Max hung up, leaving Tess still dwelling on the conversation. She got anxious thinking about going back to her Napa house, but then she dismissed her anxiety because she figured she and Nolan would go together. She felt stupid for getting so worked up. She finally exhaled, as she lay down to sleep.

Within fifteen minutes, Tess slipped into a dreamless sleep. Exhaustion consumed her and slowly paralyzed her body, causing her to fall into an instant deep sleep. She lost all consciousness and awareness of her surroundings. During her catatonic slumber, Tess’ body began to involuntarily gyrate and writhe repeatedly. She made sounds mimicking deep throaty groans for several hours.

Four

At six a.m. sharp, Tess was jarred awake in her New York City hotel room. “Wha—?” She felt winded and frightened as she quickly scanned the room. She placed her right hand above her left breast to feel her heart beating nearly out of her chest. She had perspiration on her face and the sheet beneath her felt moist, as did her pillowcase. Her nerves were frayed and the hairs on the back of her neck were standing up. She noticed that the room had a calm, but eerie feeling about it. With the drapes still closed, she reached over and turned on the lamp next to the bed. Her breathing became shallow and erratic as her breath wafted through the air around her. With both hands, she smoothed back her disheveled hair away from her face, while her eyes continued to dart around the room. She had difficulty catching her breath. Then suddenly the phone rang, which broke her trance. She stood perfectly still for a second, then scrambled to answer it on the second ring.
“Hello!” Her voice sounded rushed.
“Hey babe, good morning. Did I wake you?” asked Nolan, relieved to hear his wife’s voice.
“No! I mean, no, why, what’s wrong?” Her words were fast and choppy. She was still winded. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out.
“You all right? You sound funny.”
“I’m fine. Is everything all right? What time is it there?”
“It’s three in the morning. I was up with Tristen and thought I’d catch you before you started your day. Are you sure I didn’t wake you?”
“No, I was awake. I just woke up. What’s wrong with Tristen? Why is he up?” Tess began to glance over the bed on both sides of her, yanking the sheet back and looking around in a suspicious manner. She still felt funny—peculiarly funny.
“He’s still fussy and woke up crying. No matter what I do, I can’t get him to calm down. I changed him, fed him, gave him his favorite toys, I tried playing with him; nothing is working. Tess I don’t know what else to do.”
“Maybe giving him a warm bath will soothe him. Do you think he’s teething?”
“I don’t know. He sounds like he’s in pain or something.”
“Oh, baby, I should come home. I need to be with him.”
“No don’t. I didn’t call you to ruin your trip. Stay. I’ll take care of him. Finish out the weekend and by time you come home he’ll be back to his old self. If he gets worse, I’ll call the pediatrician.”
“Are you sure? I mean it, I can come home today.”
“No. I’m sure. I shouldn’t have worried you.”
“Nonsense. He’s my son and I need to know what’s going on. Call me back in a few hours if he’s not better. Okay?”
“Certainly. Are you sure you’re okay? You sound like...”
“I’m fine, really, Nolan. I’m kinda tired. I’ll talk to you later, ‘k?”
“Fine, okay. I love you.”
“I love you more.” Then Tess had a sudden moment of clarity and wanted to reach out to her husband for help, and tell him about the strange occurrence. “Nolan, wait!”
“Yeah, what is it?” He heard some stress in her voice, but before he could refocus on her, Tristen burst into a hysterical cry and began to get violently ill—vomiting on his father’s shoulder and down the front of his T-shirt.
“Ahhhh! Shoot!”
“What is it? What’s going on with Tristen?” Tess could hear her son’s wailing.
“Tess, I gotta hang up. Tristen just blew chunks all over me. Oh man...crap! I’ll call you later babe.”

Tess wanted to at least say “I love you” again, but Nolan had already hung up. She, then, slowly hung up her phone. She missed her husband and worried about her son, but more urgently, she got a very bad feeling from within. She shook it off and dismissed it as her imagination, probably prompted by her phone conversation with her realtor regarding her Napa home. She rolled out of bed feeling more tired than when she went to sleep. When Nolan called back an hour later and asked her if she’d wanted to tell him something, Tess decided not to bring it up. She wasn’t sure herself if what happened during her sleep had anything to do with Grant, and she certainly didn’t want to worry Nolan over nothing. She would do anything to avoid conversation that would upset him, getting him worked up and scared again. She brushed it off and limited their conversation to Tristen. Nolan assured her that Tristen was fine and had eventually fallen back to sleep, so they ended their conversation with him convincing her that she didn’t need to rush home. Later that morning Tess headed out to a breakfast meeting with her editor.

The rest of Tess’ day turned out about as mentally chaotic as it began. She was unsuccessful in shaking off the strange feeling she woke up with, which made it difficult for her to concentrate on her editor, the conference, and lunch with associates, subsequent conversations with Nolan, and finally her dinner with Jackson. She felt drained, like she hadn’t rested in two days.

That evening, during the course of her dinner with her close friend, Jackson, Tess nervously consumed several glasses of wine. She thought the wine would relax her and clear her head—on the contrary. She rambled on non-stop throughout dinner and into dessert. On the way back to the hotel, she acted very loose and chatty, with Jackson holding her up at times as they made their way back to her hotel. When they entered her suite, Tess nearly stumbled over the coffee table in the living room.
“Careful!” shouted Jackson, instinctively reaching for her.
“Whoops! How did that get there?”
“Hey, are you okay?”
“Yep! How are you?”
“Tess, I think you may have had a little too much to drink.”
“Sure, I’ll have a drink!” She staggered to the bar and pulled out a bottle of vodka. “Want some?”
“Here, let me do it.” Jackson took the bottle from her and poured himself a drink. He had several glasses of wine as well with dinner, but had been able to hold his liquor better than she. She hadn’t had much opportunity to drink at home since her life changed drastically with the birth of her son. Tonight was a rare moment for her. She had been so keyed up with what happened to her that morning that she wanted to finally put it out of her head. Once she started drinking, though, she couldn’t stop. Jackson watched her all evening—obviously concerned by her unusual behavior. In all their years together as special friends, he’d never really seen her drunk before.

After a few more small glasses of vodka, Jackson thought it best to cut her off and let her get some sleep. She had another breakfast meeting with Sasha in the morning; then she would head back to the airport to catch her afternoon flight home. When he tried to say good-night while putting on his suit jacket, Tess stopped him. She suddenly felt scared and didn’t want to stay alone. The panic feeling returned, reminding her about the episode that morning when she awoke. Throughout the morning, signs were becoming clear to her as to what might have happened, but she refused to accept the fact that she was no longer alone.
“Wait. Jackson...”
“Yes, what is it? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine—I think.”
“What’s the matter?” He detected a look of horror across her face and in her voice as he watched her eyes dart curiously around the room. “Tess, what is it?”
“Uh...nothing. Never mind. Thanks for dinner; I had a...” She stopped talking; she lost her train of thought. She looked around the room again as if she could feel someone close to her, breathing down her neck.
“What’s wrong?”
“Stay. Please, stay with me. I mean, I don’t want to be alone.” Then she realized how that sounded. “I don’t mean like that. It’s silly. I shouldn’t feel lonely, but...”
“It’s okay. I understand. You don’t have to explain to me. I can stay if you want. Are you sure?” She scanned the room again and nodded. “Fine, then let me help you get to bed. I think you’ve had enough to drink.”
She changed her clothes in the bathroom while Jackson removed his suit. When she emerged, she realized the suite only had the king-size bed, but she could barely keep her eyes opened or her balance, so she clumsily slid under the covers. Jackson got in the bed from the other side. She felt stupid for being afraid, but what she sensed was real and she became frightened—too frightened to want to stay alone. She figured she didn’t have a choice. She couldn’t cancel the rest of her trip now. He turned off the lamp and moved in slightly closer to her, feeling his body heat up like glowing embers from being tempted by her radiant skin. Facing her, he spoke softly through the darkness, but she quickly went semi-conscious. Between exhaustion and inebriation, she talked mostly out of her head with her eyes closed, yet facing him.
“Tess, it was really good seeing you this weekend. I’ve missed you so much.”
“Mmm...me, too...missed you.” He pulled the sheets up over her exposed shoulder. He touched her soft flesh in the process and felt a tingling sensation throughout his body. He rubbed her shoulder and traveled his fingers up and down her back several times. She hardly noticed. He moved nearer to her until his face came dangerously close to hers. She continued to breathe softly while in her mind she was floating. She moaned quietly as she drifted in and out of sleep.
“Tess?”
“Hmm...?”
“I still love you. I always have.”
“Mmm...me, too.” In her dream she heard voices. Her body warmed up and her mind emptied of all thoughts as she floated away somewhere warm, far and safe for a long time.

Six hours later, when the alarm sounded, Tess slowly rolled over to silence it, and then shut her eyes again as she lay with her face buried in her pillow. She couldn’t believe it was time to get up already. She felt exhausted, as well as hung over, and her body ached. She wanted twenty more hours of sleep. When she moved her left leg slightly she felt something entwined around it. She lifted her head off the pillow to figure out the confusion beneath the sheets. In doing so, she realized her nightgown was missing. She no longer had it on. It was tangled in her legs.
“What the heck?” She looked perplexed.
“Good morning,” Jackson groaned. She whipped her head around toward the voice on the other side of the bed and suddenly sat up, clutching the sheet against her naked body.
“Jackson! What the...! What are you doing here?”
“Huh?”
“What the hell are you doing in my bed? What? What? Why are you here? Answer me!”
“Tess, Tess, calm down. Don’t you remember?”
“Remember what?!” She scooted farther away from him.
“You asked me to stay. You said you were lonely and you said it was okay. I swear!”
“No! No-no-no! I did not ask you to sleep in my bed. Why would I do that? And, why is my nightgown off?” She yanked the sheets off of Jackson and gasped! “Where the hell are your clothes? What’s going on here? What did you do? What did I do?”
“I’m sorry, Tess. I thought...you said...I don’t know what to say. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He pulled the sheets back over his waist to cover his nakedness.
“Upset me? This can’t be happening.” She struck the palm of her hand against her forehead. “Shit! Shit! Oh my God. Okay, please tell me that nothing happened, please!”
“Tess, let’s talk about it without all the yelling.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. You have to go. Please. Just go. Now! I can’t think. I’m frickin’ numb.” Then she thought of Nolan and the worse feeling came over her like nothing she’d ever felt before. She began crying and shaking uncontrollably. Jackson felt horrible realizing she seemed to have no recollection of ever asking him to stay. He didn’t think she was that drunk to not recall any of the evening. She didn’t seem like it. He tried to console her, but she shoved him away. “No! Stay away from me! Get out of my bed!”

Jackson apologized profusely while nervously scrambling to put on his clothes. Tess watched him through blurry eyes—subconsciously admiring his measurable size—recalling the very first time they made love. He attempted to explain himself in the process, but she broke her trance, ran off into the bathroom and didn’t come out. When he tried to reason with her through the closed door, and to coax her out, she refused and made it very clear that she didn’t want to hear what he had to say. She kept repeating that nothing happened between them. At least that’s what she wanted to believe. He wanted to talk to her and, with all sincerity, convince her that it wasn’t his intention to hurt her or manipulate her, but she would hear nothing of it. She wanted to be left alone. She couldn’t face him. He stalled as much as he could, and then pleaded with her to open the door again, but she became silent on the other side. He, himself, was confused and ashamed. He loved her—would give his right arm for her—and wanted a chance to explain. The last thing he ever imagined was her hating him, and he desperately didn’t want her to think that he took advantage of her. He couldn’t think of any worse torture than knowing they couldn’t be at least friends. When she made it clear that his attempts to talk to her were futile, he picked up his suit jacket, placed it over his arm and slowly walked out of the suite.
The rest of the morning and into the flight home was a complete blur for Tess as she held herself responsible for her state of depredation.

Back to Top